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Hello, thanks for joining us today.
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I'm Letise Dennis and I'm on the social media team here
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at K12 and also the mom to three wonderful kids.
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And I'm so excited to be here today
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with Dr. Melissa King, who is joining us
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to discuss kindergarten readiness.
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Dr. King has actually been with us at K12
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as the Director of Early Learning.
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She helped to develop our Embark Program.
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She's also the author of many published books
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and journal articles, as well as teaching graduate courses
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at the University of Virginia, George Mason University
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and Kaplan University.
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And what else have you've taught?
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I also spent about 20 years in the public schools
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teaching everything from pre K all the up
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through grade eight.
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So I've had a lot of experience with all kinds of kids
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at all ages and loved every minute.
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Well that's great, and we're very excited
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to start getting into our content now.
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So now that we've learned a little bit more
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about Dr. King, we'd like to learn more about you.
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So you'll see a survey pop up, and we'd like you
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to fill out and answer a few questions
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so that we can know who's here joining us today.
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And Dr. King, I know that we've talked through some
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of your experience but I also know that you are a
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proud grandma of four beautiful grandchildren.
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Would you like to talk about them for a second?
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Indeed I am.
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I have two sons and they've brought into this world
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four lovely grandchildren.
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They are age nine, age five, age four, and nine months.
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And they are the greatest joy of my life indeed.
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How 'bout you?
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Your children are how old?
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Yes, so I have a 21-year-old, an 11-year-old
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and an eight-year-old.
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And I know that for a lot of parents, the leap
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into kindergarten can be an emotional and stressful
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and very uncertain time.
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So I'm so excited to hear your advice
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for us parents who might not be sure if our kids
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are ready or not or might be struggling
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with this transition in our lives.
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It's funny you say that because it's been a long time
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since my own children went to kindergarten,
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but I remember those days when each one of them
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stepped on the bus and took their first foray
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into the world of formal schooling.
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And I think many of us as moms shed a few tears
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because we realize that's when they're really going off
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on their own.
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So it is a time of great importance.
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It definitely is.
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Okay so now, let's just jump into it.
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So help explain to us what exactly is
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kindergarten readiness?
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Kindergarten readiness is a generalized concept
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to help adults try to determine whether a child
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has the prerequisite skills, knowledge and understanding
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to thrive in the formal world of structured education.
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It's not an exact science and there's no perfect way
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to size up a child's readiness to take that
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big step forward.
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And each child is unique and special.
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We must always remember not to judge any child
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against the level of performance of another child.
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It's not a contest.
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We also need to remember that parents, like yourself,
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and families are a child's first teachers
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and they know their child best.
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Research tells us that the first five years
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of a child's life set the foundation for all that follows.
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In fact, 85% of brain growth occurs
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during that critical period.
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In addition, a child's basic personality
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and emotional template is established during
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those five years.
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So we really do need to be paying attention
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to what's happening and what children are ready for next.
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Experts describe the progression of child development
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as a continuum or a general sequence
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of skills and competencies that emerge
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in a particular order.
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However the timing and the exact chronological age
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of when any child reaches those milestones may differ.
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So there's variation from child to child.
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So when we say kindergarten readiness,
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we're really referring to a set of basic benchmarks
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that are typical for many young children
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in our society.
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But remember, it's not a recipe.
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Therefore decisions about a child's readiness
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for kindergarten should be based
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on whether that particular child meets certain
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identified criteria, demonstrates certain behaviors
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that are generally observed in other children.
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It's not a formula, but it's a set
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of descriptive characteristics.
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That's usually what we say about kindergarten readiness.
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And I like how you said that it's different
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for every kid.
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I know in my experience with my three kids,
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they were all three at different stages
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of readiness to go off and they all did well.
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So it's definitely dependent on the child
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and not the formula, like you said.
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I like that point.
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All right, Dr. King can you talk to us a little bit
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about the domains of kindergarten and why each one
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is important?
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Sure, the domains are sets of skills, behaviors
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and common understandings that characterize
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kindergarten readiness.
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And there are two big sets.
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One is what we call the fundamental benchmarks
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and that includes social emotional learning,
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language development and physical development.
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And the other big domain is what we call
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the academic arena and that includes early literacy,
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emergent numeracy and approaches to learning in cognition
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or thinking.
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So let's take a look and see what's covered
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in each one of those subsets.
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So social emotional learning, also called SEL
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is an individual's capacity for self regulation,
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empathy and self expression, self confidence
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and level of independence.
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And this is a very important area for parents
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and families to think about when making decisions
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regarding a child's readiness for kindergarten.
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It's often overlooked or understated.
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But it probably is one of the most important areas.
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Included in SEL would be the child's ability
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to pay attention and focus on a given task
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such as putting a puzzle together for a certain length
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of time without getting too distracted,
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following directions and persisting with a task
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such as buttoning a shirt or zipping up a jacket,
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playing cooperatively with others
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and managing frustration that might come up
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such as when another child doesn't wanna share their toys.
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Does the child have the skill to be able
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to manage that kind of common frustration that happens?
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And how well can the child control their own impulses
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and respect boundaries such as refraining
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from an angry outburst when things don't go the way
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that they want them to, and accepting no
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as a response in some situations when there's a certain
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behavior that's not allowed.
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So that's what we call the domain of SEL
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or social emotional learning, very, very important.
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Right.
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Language development is another big one.
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And language development includes receptive language skills,
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that's listening and understanding
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what language comes to you, comes into your brain.
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The second aspect is expressive language
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and that's your own verbal ability
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to verbalize and vocalize your own ideas,
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thoughts, feelings and needs.
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And basic communication is another one.
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So does the child understand that the purpose
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of language is to negotiate that space with others
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and to be able to express and to exchange ideas
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with others.
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So we wanna make sure that any child
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who enters kindergarten has a capacity
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to be able to communicate basic needs
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and to be able to express themselves with others.
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So the other fundamental area in those basic benchmarks
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is physical development.
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And that would include both fine and gross motor skills,
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coordination and balance, use of tools and self care.
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So some examples might be the child's ability
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to stack blocks one on top of the other,
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child's ability to use crayons, to have success
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with buttons and zippers and snaps,
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being able to copy simple shapes and figures
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on a piece of paper, using basic tools
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such as a spoon, a toothbrush, maybe even a pair
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of scissors.
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In the gross motor skill area, being able
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to catch a ball, throw a ball, run, hop, jump, skip,
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even ride a tricycle.
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So those are all included in that domain
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of physical development.
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When we look at the academic domains, the top
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of the list is early literacy and that includes
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some very, very important components
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that will make possible for the child
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to learn to read and write.
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So first off is just the child's phonological awareness.
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And that means the sounds of the language.
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Are they sensitive to the music, the intonation patterns,
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the actual sounds of letters and words?
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Can they put those things together in understanding
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and using language?
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Their knowledge of print and writing conventions,
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can they understand that if I draw this shape
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or I draw this symbol, I'm actually communicating something
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to someone else, so we have shared meaning
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with that when we use written conventions.
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The child's ability to draw things
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to express ideas.
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I wanna draw my dog and whether or not that looks
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like a dog is not the point.
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But is the child's understanding that they can take
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that idea and put that idea down for someone else
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to also see.
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And then another big subset in early literacy is
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the child's response to literature.
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And this is really important.
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So you want the child to understand how to hold the book
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properly and how to turn the pages, moving
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from the beginning to the end, understanding
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that print goes from left to right
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in the English language.
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They should also be able to make predictions
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about stories and maybe retell a story.
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In this one are the bears in the night.
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They get out of bed and they made their pathway
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over to see the owl on the hill.
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So can the child listen intently
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and then retell that story?
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Is the child familiar enough with listening
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and following along that they can then paraphrase
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and say back to a person who is listening with them
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what actually happened in that story,
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make their own narrative.
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Also the child should be able to discriminate
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and identify individual sounds that are part
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of our language.
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Babies and infants actually have the capacity
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to understand every sound from every language
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and to make every sound from every language
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which sounds really phenomenal but is actually true.
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But they refine that understand when they're exposed
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to particular languages.
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So in our case, it's the English language.
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And so when children have that capacity
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we wanna make sure that we take advantage
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of the moments we have that with them
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to build that common understanding
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of how our language sounds.
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Children who are moving into the kindergarten years
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should be able to recognize and name some
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of the letters of the alphabet but not all.
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And that's different than saying
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♪ A, B, C, D, E, F, G ♪
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and singing the song.
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Most children learn that by rote.
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And most children think L, M, N, O, P is one letter.
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(laughing)
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So we wanna make sure that when we talk about print
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conventions and letters, that they understand
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that that letter A is something.
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That's a discrete entity.
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And I can find that letter in a book
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or on a piece of paper.
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The child should also be able to write their own name.
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It doesn't need to be perfect and the letters
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don't need to be the same size.
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But they should understand if my name is Lily,
267
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it's an L-I-L-Y on the paper and probably recognize
268
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their own name.
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When we move into emergent numeracy
270
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or what most people commonly think of as math,
271
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we're talking about the child's awareness
272
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of patterns an order, being able to distinguish
273
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and compare relative quantities, recognizing basic shapes,
274
00:12:49.490 --> 00:12:52.360
circles and squares and triangles.
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We're not talking hexagons here but we're talking
276
00:12:55.360 --> 00:12:56.830
the basic shapes.
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They should be able to sort things
278
00:12:58.420 --> 00:13:01.440
and they should be able to count from one to 10.
279
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Many children entering kindergarten can count beyond that
280
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but it's not necessary.
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They're gonna learn that.
282
00:13:08.410 --> 00:13:11.740
What's most important is that they understand conceptually
283
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that as I move from one to 10, those numbers
284
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represent a known quantity.
285
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And as I count from one to 10, guess what,
286
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10 is bigger than one.
287
00:13:22.470 --> 00:13:23.983
There's more stuff in a group of 10
288
00:13:23.983 --> 00:13:25.690
than there is in a group of one.
289
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When we talk about emergent numeracy,
290
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we're not talking only about numbers.
291
00:13:31.290 --> 00:13:34.340
We're talking about some of those more basic concepts
292
00:13:34.340 --> 00:13:39.340
that children need to have in terms of logic and analysis.
293
00:13:39.590 --> 00:13:42.930
And the final subset I wanna talk about is approaches
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to learning and cognition.
295
00:13:45.350 --> 00:13:49.430
So at this point when a child is about five,
296
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they should have the capacity to solve some problems,
297
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basic problems.
298
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They should be interested in participating
299
00:13:56.790 --> 00:13:59.060
in group activities and some of those activities
300
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might help them solve problems.
301
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They should also be asking questions
302
00:14:03.560 --> 00:14:05.750
to seek new information.
303
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Part of this subset is the child's own enthusiasm
304
00:14:09.580 --> 00:14:12.700
for learning something new, their eagerness
305
00:14:12.700 --> 00:14:14.470
to find out more about the world.
306
00:14:14.470 --> 00:14:17.240
So we wanna stimulate those growing brains.
307
00:14:17.240 --> 00:14:18.695
We wanna give them lots of experiences
308
00:14:18.695 --> 00:14:21.730
that give them positive feedback
309
00:14:21.730 --> 00:14:26.540
so that when they do have success, they want more.
310
00:14:26.540 --> 00:14:28.600
We want the child to be interested in learning.
311
00:14:28.600 --> 00:14:31.610
We also wanna encourage creative application
312
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of those ideas.
313
00:14:32.540 --> 00:14:35.970
So imagination is part of it, and we're always looking
314
00:14:35.970 --> 00:14:40.970
to allow young children some space to go beyond what is
315
00:14:41.077 --> 00:14:44.070
and to think creatively and be curious.
316
00:14:44.070 --> 00:14:47.380
So that's what we're looking for when we talk
317
00:14:47.380 --> 00:14:50.500
about the domain of thinking skills.
318
00:14:50.500 --> 00:14:53.140
Okay, well thank you for that explanation.
319
00:14:53.140 --> 00:14:56.760
Do you find that for any of these domain sets
320
00:14:56.760 --> 00:14:59.990
that children who are in, that have siblings
321
00:14:59.990 --> 00:15:02.760
that are part of a larger family, rate higher
322
00:15:02.760 --> 00:15:05.370
or lower in these assessments or even children
323
00:15:05.370 --> 00:15:07.177
that have been to preschool or not?
324
00:15:07.177 --> 00:15:09.570
That's a great question, and I'm really glad
325
00:15:09.570 --> 00:15:12.950
you asked it because parents would often like us
326
00:15:12.950 --> 00:15:14.547
to say things like that.
327
00:15:14.547 --> 00:15:16.920
But I'm going to go back to what I said
328
00:15:16.920 --> 00:15:19.770
in the very beginning about each child being
329
00:15:19.770 --> 00:15:21.220
unique and special.
330
00:15:21.220 --> 00:15:23.950
And even if you had 10 children, they would all be
331
00:15:23.950 --> 00:15:25.510
dynamically different.
332
00:15:25.510 --> 00:15:29.440
And birth order or size of the body, all of that,
333
00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:33.920
is really not what we're able to say anything
334
00:15:33.920 --> 00:15:36.680
definitive about, meaning that this child is going
335
00:15:36.680 --> 00:15:38.440
to succeed or that one isn't.
336
00:15:38.440 --> 00:15:43.440
So every child deserves to be observed and understood
337
00:15:44.610 --> 00:15:46.440
for who they are.
338
00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:49.450
And one of the toughest parts about being a parent
339
00:15:49.450 --> 00:15:52.242
of young children is being able to accept that
340
00:15:52.242 --> 00:15:54.690
and know that what I got used to
341
00:15:54.690 --> 00:15:56.410
with the first child was very different
342
00:15:56.410 --> 00:15:57.770
with the second child.
343
00:15:57.770 --> 00:16:00.340
It's not really wrong that that child is different.
344
00:16:00.340 --> 00:16:02.147
It's just that I have to learn all over again
345
00:16:02.147 --> 00:16:04.200
how to interact with that child because they're very
346
00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:05.700
different than the first one.
347
00:16:05.700 --> 00:16:08.300
So we have different dispositions
348
00:16:08.300 --> 00:16:10.194
and a lot of it's in their DNA.
349
00:16:10.194 --> 00:16:14.310
Children are born to be different.
350
00:16:14.310 --> 00:16:17.660
So in reference to your question, I think
351
00:16:17.660 --> 00:16:21.350
that we should be careful about expectations like that.
352
00:16:21.350 --> 00:16:24.650
We should understand that every child is an open book
353
00:16:24.650 --> 00:16:26.550
when they enter the world and we wanna give them
354
00:16:26.550 --> 00:16:29.647
rich experiences that help them to succeed
355
00:16:29.647 --> 00:16:30.870
and do their best.
356
00:16:30.870 --> 00:16:31.870
Okay, great.
357
00:16:31.870 --> 00:16:33.880
So Dr. King, what can you tell us a little bit
358
00:16:33.880 --> 00:16:36.370
about how children learn?
359
00:16:36.370 --> 00:16:38.890
Children are amazing creatures.
360
00:16:38.890 --> 00:16:42.440
And when you think about all that they learn
361
00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:45.330
in the first few years of life, you can't help
362
00:16:45.330 --> 00:16:47.010
but be impressed.
363
00:16:47.010 --> 00:16:51.550
They're masters of observation and imitation,
364
00:16:51.550 --> 00:16:54.810
keen imaginations and unbridled curiosity.
365
00:16:54.810 --> 00:16:56.210
It's really incredible.
366
00:16:56.210 --> 00:16:59.130
So let's think about how they accomplish
367
00:16:59.130 --> 00:17:02.160
what they accomplish in those early years.
368
00:17:02.160 --> 00:17:04.970
First of all I wanna talk about play.
369
00:17:04.970 --> 00:17:08.100
This is serious business for a child.
370
00:17:08.100 --> 00:17:12.190
Play is a child's work, not the way we think about play
371
00:17:12.190 --> 00:17:13.100
as something extra.
372
00:17:13.100 --> 00:17:14.579
This is their job.
373
00:17:14.579 --> 00:17:17.650
Children need lots of opportunities to engage
374
00:17:17.650 --> 00:17:20.850
with materials and engage with others
375
00:17:20.850 --> 00:17:23.090
so that they can explore their world
376
00:17:23.090 --> 00:17:27.320
and they can approach play creatively.
377
00:17:27.320 --> 00:17:32.010
So what we wanna be sure of is to provide them
378
00:17:32.010 --> 00:17:36.210
with open-ended materials so that unstructured play
379
00:17:36.210 --> 00:17:38.920
is part of that play experience, not something
380
00:17:38.920 --> 00:17:41.460
that follows a set of prescribed instructions,
381
00:17:41.460 --> 00:17:43.980
but something that they get to work with
382
00:17:43.980 --> 00:17:45.830
and make decisions about.
383
00:17:45.830 --> 00:17:48.702
So wooden blocks are terrific.
384
00:17:48.702 --> 00:17:52.590
Lego blocks are terrific, things like this
385
00:17:52.590 --> 00:17:56.100
that they can make choices about and they can have
386
00:17:56.100 --> 00:17:58.130
a whole bin of blocks and decide how it's gonna
387
00:17:58.130 --> 00:17:59.450
be put together.
388
00:17:59.450 --> 00:18:02.620
Stacking cups like this that can go multiple ways.
389
00:18:02.620 --> 00:18:04.410
You can use them for sequence.
390
00:18:04.410 --> 00:18:06.181
You can use them for patterns.
391
00:18:06.181 --> 00:18:09.670
Every child that I ever heard of on the planet
392
00:18:09.670 --> 00:18:12.490
loves Play Dough or something soft
393
00:18:12.490 --> 00:18:16.763
that they can work with their hands, tactile things
394
00:18:16.763 --> 00:18:20.190
that allow them to engage all of their senses.
395
00:18:20.190 --> 00:18:24.820
So we wanna give the child enough of a variety
396
00:18:24.820 --> 00:18:26.920
of those kinds of open-ended materials
397
00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:29.220
so that play is engaging.
398
00:18:29.220 --> 00:18:32.010
Right, and I know for my kids, they always like playing
399
00:18:32.010 --> 00:18:34.810
with the box that the toy came in more so
400
00:18:34.810 --> 00:18:36.629
than the toy itself because they could be creative
401
00:18:36.629 --> 00:18:39.450
and cut it up and use their imagination.
402
00:18:39.450 --> 00:18:40.283
That's right.
403
00:18:40.283 --> 00:18:41.260
I never threw out a box.
404
00:18:41.260 --> 00:18:42.950
I have a whole collection of them.
405
00:18:42.950 --> 00:18:45.160
And it's funny that children will find
406
00:18:45.160 --> 00:18:46.230
many ways to use them.
407
00:18:46.230 --> 00:18:49.550
I make a garage for the car.
408
00:18:49.550 --> 00:18:51.511
I make a barn for the sheep, whatever it is.
409
00:18:51.511 --> 00:18:54.320
Yes, that is so true.
410
00:18:54.320 --> 00:18:58.480
So also they learn from interacting with peers
411
00:18:58.480 --> 00:19:01.110
and interacting with adults as well.
412
00:19:01.110 --> 00:19:02.933
Because when they engage with others,
413
00:19:02.933 --> 00:19:05.600
there's a healthy give and take.
414
00:19:05.600 --> 00:19:07.850
I have some ideas, that person has some ideas.
415
00:19:07.850 --> 00:19:10.960
We negotiate that space and while we're doing that,
416
00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:12.690
we're communicating with each other.
417
00:19:12.690 --> 00:19:15.050
And so we're learning things from each other.
418
00:19:15.050 --> 00:19:18.620
And that really elevates the brain growth
419
00:19:18.620 --> 00:19:20.270
and boosts their thinking.
420
00:19:20.270 --> 00:19:25.270
So having time for your child to be with others,
421
00:19:26.140 --> 00:19:29.070
not just the parents or the family but others as well,
422
00:19:29.070 --> 00:19:31.010
is really beneficial.
423
00:19:31.010 --> 00:19:33.530
The third thing I would say is a variety
424
00:19:33.530 --> 00:19:38.050
of rich experiences so that the child has some novelty
425
00:19:38.050 --> 00:19:39.930
in their life.
426
00:19:39.930 --> 00:19:42.520
So it's wonderful to have routines
427
00:19:42.520 --> 00:19:44.890
and wonderful to have everything that I'm familiar with
428
00:19:44.890 --> 00:19:45.980
at my house.
429
00:19:45.980 --> 00:19:48.200
But guess what, I also need to go out
430
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:49.690
and explore the world.
431
00:19:49.690 --> 00:19:53.810
So nature walks, going to parks, going to the playground
432
00:19:53.810 --> 00:19:56.780
where there are other people doing other things
433
00:19:56.780 --> 00:20:00.366
will expose the child to some novelty,
434
00:20:00.366 --> 00:20:03.570
give the child some new things to think about
435
00:20:03.570 --> 00:20:07.480
and will also help them to build some risk tolerance.
436
00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:10.920
So as they engage with things that are unexpected
437
00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:13.580
or new things, they have to maybe think about
438
00:20:13.580 --> 00:20:14.880
something unexpected.
439
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:18.530
And this helps them understand that it's all right
440
00:20:18.530 --> 00:20:20.880
if I encounter something I'm not familiar with
441
00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:22.900
and I wanna explore a little bit more.
442
00:20:22.900 --> 00:20:25.920
So I think we need to be sure that we give them plenty
443
00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:27.580
of time for discovery.
444
00:20:27.580 --> 00:20:31.850
And this in turn can actually perpetuate lifelong learning.
445
00:20:31.850 --> 00:20:33.150
And that's what we're after.
446
00:20:33.150 --> 00:20:35.560
You know, preschool and kindergarten is
447
00:20:35.560 --> 00:20:38.400
just the beginning for our education experience.
448
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:43.150
So fourth, I would suggest to parents
449
00:20:43.150 --> 00:20:46.260
that they remind themselves over and over again
450
00:20:46.260 --> 00:20:49.750
to try to frame things in a positive way
451
00:20:49.750 --> 00:20:52.840
for young children rather than in a negative way.
452
00:20:52.840 --> 00:20:56.710
Give them an alternative instead of saying,
453
00:20:56.710 --> 00:20:57.810
don't do that.
454
00:20:57.810 --> 00:21:01.240
So if it's been a wet day, there's puddles outside
455
00:21:01.240 --> 00:21:03.730
and you're going out for a walk, it's easy
456
00:21:03.730 --> 00:21:07.300
to want to say to your child, don't jump in those puddles
457
00:21:07.300 --> 00:21:09.820
'cause you're gonna get all wet.
458
00:21:09.820 --> 00:21:12.180
And we know that's exactly what the child wants
459
00:21:12.180 --> 00:21:13.517
to do because that's a lot of fun.
460
00:21:13.517 --> 00:21:16.160
That's a boatload of fun actually.
461
00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:19.960
So instead the parent might turn it around and say,
462
00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:22.950
when we go outside, you can see there's a lot
463
00:21:22.950 --> 00:21:24.510
of puddles out there.
464
00:21:24.510 --> 00:21:28.510
But you have boots on if you start jumping
465
00:21:28.510 --> 00:21:33.070
in the puddles, guess what, the water's gonna splash up
466
00:21:33.070 --> 00:21:35.680
on your pants and the water's gonna get inside your boots,
467
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:37.940
and you're probably gonna be really uncomfortable.
468
00:21:37.940 --> 00:21:41.400
But if you just wait, when we come back inside,
469
00:21:41.400 --> 00:21:43.710
we'll play at the sink and you can play
470
00:21:43.710 --> 00:21:46.820
with water for an hour and get your hands wet.
471
00:21:46.820 --> 00:21:49.280
And if you get shirt wet, I can change your clothes
472
00:21:49.280 --> 00:21:50.220
while we're at home.
473
00:21:50.220 --> 00:21:54.550
So the idea of giving the child an alternative
474
00:21:54.550 --> 00:21:56.580
instead of just saying don't do this
475
00:21:56.580 --> 00:21:58.120
and don't do that because you set up
476
00:21:58.120 --> 00:22:00.320
kind of a negative feedback loop for children.
477
00:22:00.320 --> 00:22:03.860
So it's hard to remember to do that all the time
478
00:22:03.860 --> 00:22:07.290
but it is really important because it does help
479
00:22:07.290 --> 00:22:10.660
the child realize that I have different approaches
480
00:22:10.660 --> 00:22:12.620
to things that I can put in place.
481
00:22:12.620 --> 00:22:14.453
Right, and I know so often as parents we think
482
00:22:14.453 --> 00:22:16.520
that we have to have all this structured play
483
00:22:16.520 --> 00:22:18.740
and we have to plan things out or else our kid is
484
00:22:18.740 --> 00:22:20.430
just gonna fall so far behind.
485
00:22:20.430 --> 00:22:22.890
But if we actually give them some space
486
00:22:22.890 --> 00:22:25.620
and allow their imagination and curiosity
487
00:22:25.620 --> 00:22:27.480
to guide them, then they'll actually end up
488
00:22:27.480 --> 00:22:28.707
progressing even further.
489
00:22:28.707 --> 00:22:30.320 line:15%
You're so right.
490
00:22:30.320 --> 00:22:32.367 line:15%
We talk a lot about teachable moments
491
00:22:32.367 --> 00:22:34.570 line:15%
and we know that those moments pass quickly.
492
00:22:34.570 --> 00:22:37.610 line:15%
So it's really important to be on the look out for them,
493
00:22:37.610 --> 00:22:39.470 line:15%
when your child gets that spark
494
00:22:39.470 --> 00:22:41.630
and notices something or asks a question
495
00:22:41.630 --> 00:22:43.510
and says well, could we go this way instead
496
00:22:43.510 --> 00:22:45.350
of that way on our trail?
497
00:22:45.350 --> 00:22:47.140
Or I notice something over here, could we
498
00:22:47.140 --> 00:22:50.140
do this instead, or could we change our plans?
499
00:22:50.140 --> 00:22:51.630
And you wanna be flexible.
500
00:22:51.630 --> 00:22:54.330
You wanna be able to follow that lead
501
00:22:54.330 --> 00:22:58.000
because the child has the spark of an idea,
502
00:22:58.000 --> 00:22:59.620
something that occurred to them where they wanna
503
00:22:59.620 --> 00:23:00.453
explore more.
504
00:23:00.453 --> 00:23:03.800
And the funny thing is, you might learn something too
505
00:23:03.800 --> 00:23:05.010
along with your child.
506
00:23:05.010 --> 00:23:07.350
So yeah, thanks for bringing that up.
507
00:23:07.350 --> 00:23:11.574
So I wanna talk next about practice and rehearsal.
508
00:23:11.574 --> 00:23:15.070
This is essential for young children as they're
509
00:23:15.070 --> 00:23:16.280
learning new things.
510
00:23:16.280 --> 00:23:20.300
And every single adult out there has had some sort
511
00:23:20.300 --> 00:23:23.820
of experience listening to a child repeat something
512
00:23:23.820 --> 00:23:28.820
or do something over and over and over again ad nauseum.
513
00:23:29.240 --> 00:23:32.650
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, whatever it is
514
00:23:32.650 --> 00:23:36.027
or taking that little toy car and broom, broom, broom,
515
00:23:37.064 --> 00:23:40.058
broom, back and forth over and over and over again.
516
00:23:40.058 --> 00:23:42.500
And we wanna tell 'em to stop.
517
00:23:42.500 --> 00:23:44.490
But guess what, it's really important
518
00:23:44.490 --> 00:23:47.570
because what the child is doing is they're practicing
519
00:23:47.570 --> 00:23:50.010
something until they become more comfortable with it.
520
00:23:50.010 --> 00:23:51.860
It might be the sounds that they're forming
521
00:23:51.860 --> 00:23:52.770
in their mouth.
522
00:23:52.770 --> 00:23:54.900
It might the motions with their hands.
523
00:23:54.900 --> 00:23:57.270
It might be they're just trying something out.
524
00:23:57.270 --> 00:23:58.690
It might be something new.
525
00:23:58.690 --> 00:24:03.530
But we wanna make sure that we allow that to happen.
526
00:24:03.530 --> 00:24:05.930
And if you stop and think about it,
527
00:24:05.930 --> 00:24:08.857
adults do it naturally also.
528
00:24:08.857 --> 00:24:11.480
How many times have you been in a restaurant
529
00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:13.530
where there's a family with a young child
530
00:24:13.530 --> 00:24:16.560
and you're going out and the child is there
531
00:24:16.560 --> 00:24:18.870
and you say, oh can you say, bye bye,
532
00:24:18.870 --> 00:24:20.500
bye bye, say bye bye.
533
00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:21.820
Can you wave your hand?
534
00:24:21.820 --> 00:24:23.594
On and on and on, right?
535
00:24:23.594 --> 00:24:24.840
I mean we've all done that.
536
00:24:24.840 --> 00:24:28.290
So we're really giving the child what they need
537
00:24:28.290 --> 00:24:31.870
when we have those kinds of practice episodes.
538
00:24:31.870 --> 00:24:34.750
And then finally I would mention to you
539
00:24:34.750 --> 00:24:38.350
that role models are very, very important.
540
00:24:38.350 --> 00:24:41.360
As I mentioned earlier, children really are astute
541
00:24:41.360 --> 00:24:44.100
observers and they're watching everything.
542
00:24:44.100 --> 00:24:45.910
They're listening to everything.
543
00:24:45.910 --> 00:24:47.570
They're absorbing everything.
544
00:24:47.570 --> 00:24:49.888
We learn as parents to be careful what you say
545
00:24:49.888 --> 00:24:52.460
because you might say something that you wish your child
546
00:24:52.460 --> 00:24:56.364
hadn't heard and suddenly there it is repeated back to you.
547
00:24:56.364 --> 00:25:01.364
So they are noticing everything, more than we
548
00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:03.410
realize sometimes.
549
00:25:03.410 --> 00:25:06.600
And if they see the adult using polite language,
550
00:25:06.600 --> 00:25:09.360
saying please and thank you, expressing kindness
551
00:25:09.360 --> 00:25:12.090
to someone, demonstrating empathy,
552
00:25:12.090 --> 00:25:14.240
that's going to become part of what the child
553
00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:15.740
feels is natural.
554
00:25:15.740 --> 00:25:18.110
And a child will then want to emulate that.
555
00:25:18.110 --> 00:25:20.230
They wanna try that themselves.
556
00:25:20.230 --> 00:25:23.790
Whereas if there is acrimony in the household
557
00:25:23.790 --> 00:25:26.690
or the parents are frequently scolding the child,
558
00:25:26.690 --> 00:25:29.640
maybe the child's not behaving, those kids
559
00:25:29.640 --> 00:25:32.150
are gonna learn about criticism.
560
00:25:32.150 --> 00:25:33.590
And they're gonna have a tendency
561
00:25:33.590 --> 00:25:35.310
to wanna react negatively.
562
00:25:35.310 --> 00:25:38.940
So we have such an important job as parents
563
00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:40.840
preparing our kids for the world.
564
00:25:40.840 --> 00:25:43.720
And we have to be good people ourselves
565
00:25:43.720 --> 00:25:46.700
in order to make sure that that transcends over
566
00:25:46.700 --> 00:25:48.730
into what we want our children to be.
567
00:25:48.730 --> 00:25:52.970
So loving environments with nurturing role models
568
00:25:52.970 --> 00:25:55.250
really reduces stress for children.
569
00:25:55.250 --> 00:25:58.370
And when stress is reduced in their environment,
570
00:25:58.370 --> 00:26:01.280
then we're giving them a healthy situation
571
00:26:01.280 --> 00:26:04.070
that actually makes it easier for them to learn.
572
00:26:04.070 --> 00:26:07.030
One of the things I had to learn as a young mom
573
00:26:07.030 --> 00:26:11.660
was that I noticed on my bad days were their bad days.
574
00:26:11.660 --> 00:26:13.590
And I saw this cycle happening and I started
575
00:26:13.590 --> 00:26:15.540
to realize wow, when I'm stressed out,
576
00:26:15.540 --> 00:26:17.870
when I'm tired, when I'm a little bit more short
577
00:26:17.870 --> 00:26:19.670
than I should be, that's when I'm seeing
578
00:26:19.670 --> 00:26:22.470
those behaviors in my young kids as well.
579
00:26:22.470 --> 00:26:24.069
So you have to be very intentional.
580
00:26:24.069 --> 00:26:26.570
So if you're having a bad, stressful day,
581
00:26:26.570 --> 00:26:29.100
maybe you should look and see how you started
582
00:26:29.100 --> 00:26:31.230
the day yourself as well and then you can
583
00:26:31.230 --> 00:26:33.210
just kind of turn that day around.
584
00:26:33.210 --> 00:26:35.010
Indeed, you know they pick up a lot
585
00:26:35.010 --> 00:26:38.660
of emotional cues from us, a lot from my body language,
586
00:26:38.660 --> 00:26:41.080
our facial expression more than we realize
587
00:26:41.080 --> 00:26:42.900
we're even communicating outwardly.
588
00:26:42.900 --> 00:26:44.910
But it's so true.
589
00:26:44.910 --> 00:26:48.560
And there's like a mirror image, so yeah indeed,
590
00:26:48.560 --> 00:26:51.550
a good day and a bad day can come around
591
00:26:51.550 --> 00:26:52.770
when you least expect them.
592
00:26:52.770 --> 00:26:55.840
Yes, that's great information, thank you.
593
00:26:55.840 --> 00:26:57.320
So now let's take a moment.
594
00:26:57.320 --> 00:26:59.940
You'll see a poll pop up on your screen
595
00:26:59.940 --> 00:27:03.070
and take this checklist to assess how you feel
596
00:27:03.070 --> 00:27:06.330
that your child is doing in these specific areas.
597
00:27:06.330 --> 00:27:09.070
This would be a great time to take notes
598
00:27:09.070 --> 00:27:11.470
about your own child as you're listening
599
00:27:11.470 --> 00:27:15.507
to the descriptions of the domains and the subsets,
600
00:27:15.507 --> 00:27:19.200
you should be thinking about your own child
601
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:21.930
and how they're doing on the spectrum
602
00:27:21.930 --> 00:27:25.280
of various behaviors and skills that are expected
603
00:27:25.280 --> 00:27:26.480
in those domains.
604
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:29.000
Just jot down some ideas as we go along
605
00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:34.000
to remind yourself to think about all those different kinds
606
00:27:34.960 --> 00:27:37.430
of skills and behaviors that are so important
607
00:27:37.430 --> 00:27:38.880
in those different areas.
608
00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:42.830
And you don't need to take notes about the content
609
00:27:42.830 --> 00:27:45.532
that I'm sharing with you because that will be available
610
00:27:45.532 --> 00:27:48.650
as a resource that you can download later.
611
00:27:48.650 --> 00:27:51.350
So be thinking more about jotting down some ideas
612
00:27:51.350 --> 00:27:52.740
about your own child.
613
00:27:52.740 --> 00:27:56.800
So as parents, how can we know if my child
614
00:27:56.800 --> 00:27:58.900
is actually ready for kindergarten?
615
00:27:58.900 --> 00:28:01.640
I'd like to share with you first a couple
616
00:28:01.640 --> 00:28:06.640
of examples of kindergarten readiness checklist.
617
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:10.020
This one's actually called Indicators Checklist.
618
00:28:10.020 --> 00:28:13.340
And you can find various checklists online.
619
00:28:13.340 --> 00:28:16.900
And these particular checklists I wanted to share
620
00:28:16.900 --> 00:28:19.540
because of the way that they are structured.
621
00:28:19.540 --> 00:28:22.220
They break down the skills and behaviors
622
00:28:22.220 --> 00:28:26.807
into those domains but they also, as they list
623
00:28:27.910 --> 00:28:31.290
very specific kinds of things that a child
624
00:28:31.290 --> 00:28:35.650
might say or do, they are going across time,
625
00:28:35.650 --> 00:28:37.950
fall, winter and spring.
626
00:28:37.950 --> 00:28:41.160
So if this idea is of interest to you,
627
00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:43.430
you would want to be thinking of your child
628
00:28:43.430 --> 00:28:44.860
on a continuum.
629
00:28:44.860 --> 00:28:48.490
As they're growing over time, maybe in the fall
630
00:28:48.490 --> 00:28:50.800
they're only able to do one of these things,
631
00:28:50.800 --> 00:28:53.620
and you can try this when they're four years old
632
00:28:53.620 --> 00:28:55.990
and then see as they move into the winter
633
00:28:55.990 --> 00:28:57.690
what other things they can do.
634
00:28:57.690 --> 00:28:59.920
And by spring when you're really thinking about
635
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:01.580
are they ready for kindergarten, they're gonna be
636
00:29:01.580 --> 00:29:04.340
turning five or they are five, how many
637
00:29:04.340 --> 00:29:06.320
of these skills do they exhibit,
638
00:29:06.320 --> 00:29:07.990
do they demonstrate now?
639
00:29:07.990 --> 00:29:12.410
But I do wanna remind you that this is not the recipe.
640
00:29:12.410 --> 00:29:15.220
This is not a formula and it's not a case
641
00:29:15.220 --> 00:29:17.560
where you count up the numbers and say oh,
642
00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:20.250
my child failed or my child is ready or not.
643
00:29:20.250 --> 00:29:22.480
These are indicators and these are ways
644
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:25.810
for us to understand each child better.
645
00:29:25.810 --> 00:29:27.870
This one comes from something called Teaching Mama,
646
00:29:27.870 --> 00:29:32.530
also online, and rather than having the growth
647
00:29:32.530 --> 00:29:35.390
over time displayed, it's simply boxes where
648
00:29:35.390 --> 00:29:37.060
you check off things.
649
00:29:37.060 --> 00:29:39.170
But many checklists are like that.
650
00:29:39.170 --> 00:29:41.510
But you could make note of the dates
651
00:29:41.510 --> 00:29:43.310
when you're trying this out with your child.
652
00:29:43.310 --> 00:29:47.110
It just gives you some ideas of things to look for
653
00:29:47.110 --> 00:29:50.820
when you're observing how ready might your child be.
654
00:29:50.820 --> 00:29:54.210
And when we talk about observation, I do wanna stress
655
00:29:54.210 --> 00:29:57.040
to parents and families how important it is
656
00:29:57.040 --> 00:30:01.580
that you take the time to really notice
657
00:30:01.580 --> 00:30:04.916
what your child is doing in a variety of settings,
658
00:30:04.916 --> 00:30:06.810
different times of day.
659
00:30:06.810 --> 00:30:08.250
You need the realtime view.
660
00:30:08.250 --> 00:30:11.770
So often we're so busy we're not really noticing.
661
00:30:11.770 --> 00:30:14.220
We make sure our child is engaged with something
662
00:30:14.220 --> 00:30:16.061
and we run off and do something else.
663
00:30:16.061 --> 00:30:18.540
And they might say things or do things
664
00:30:18.540 --> 00:30:19.600
that we are missing.
665
00:30:19.600 --> 00:30:23.430
So don't forget to be a really great observer
666
00:30:23.430 --> 00:30:24.330
of your child.
667
00:30:24.330 --> 00:30:29.310
And now I wanna share with you seven key indicators.
668
00:30:29.310 --> 00:30:31.080
It doesn't mean that these are the only ones
669
00:30:31.080 --> 00:30:34.100
or the highest priority, but these tend to be things
670
00:30:34.100 --> 00:30:36.760
that are really important for a child
671
00:30:36.760 --> 00:30:39.380
who's ready to take that big step forward.
672
00:30:39.380 --> 00:30:42.610
So first on the list is the child's ability
673
00:30:42.610 --> 00:30:46.260
to use a restroom independently, to take care
674
00:30:46.260 --> 00:30:49.227
of toileting needs without someone right there.
675
00:30:49.227 --> 00:30:52.670
Not every child at five is ready to do that.
676
00:30:52.670 --> 00:30:56.200
But in the social environment, that becomes something
677
00:30:56.200 --> 00:30:57.180
that's very important.
678
00:30:57.180 --> 00:30:58.570
It can be embarrassing for a child
679
00:30:58.570 --> 00:31:01.010
if they're not able to take care of those things.
680
00:31:01.010 --> 00:31:06.010
Second indicator I would suggest is can the child
681
00:31:06.490 --> 00:31:08.750
ask for help when needed?
682
00:31:08.750 --> 00:31:11.330
Can they communicate feelings along with that?
683
00:31:11.330 --> 00:31:14.500
So if the child is about ready to go outside
684
00:31:14.500 --> 00:31:18.474
with a group and is struggling to tie his shoes,
685
00:31:18.474 --> 00:31:22.260
does the child continue to get frustrated and cry,
686
00:31:22.260 --> 00:31:25.360
or does the child stop, notice that there's an adult
687
00:31:25.360 --> 00:31:27.780
or some other older person around
688
00:31:27.780 --> 00:31:30.730
and say could you help me get my shoes tied?
689
00:31:30.730 --> 00:31:32.120
I'm not able to do it.
690
00:31:32.120 --> 00:31:34.230
Because this is the difference with the child
691
00:31:34.230 --> 00:31:36.700
who's able to manage that frustration
692
00:31:36.700 --> 00:31:38.930
and know what to do versus the child
693
00:31:38.930 --> 00:31:40.950
that's gonna struggle and not understand
694
00:31:40.950 --> 00:31:43.209
how to get a problem solved.
695
00:31:43.209 --> 00:31:46.920
Also if the child is sick, can that child express that
696
00:31:46.920 --> 00:31:50.071
instead of going outside at normal play time say,
697
00:31:50.071 --> 00:31:53.010
I need to lie down.
698
00:31:53.010 --> 00:31:54.350
I'm not feeling well.
699
00:31:54.350 --> 00:31:56.230
And that might be a stretch for some children
700
00:31:56.230 --> 00:31:58.810
but we want them to be able to understand themselves
701
00:31:58.810 --> 00:32:02.530
and to be able to express how they are really feeling.
702
00:32:02.530 --> 00:32:07.030
So third indicator that's really important is the child's
703
00:32:07.030 --> 00:32:09.140
ability to stay focused.
704
00:32:09.140 --> 00:32:11.730
We often call this also task persistence.
705
00:32:11.730 --> 00:32:12.940
They go together.
706
00:32:12.940 --> 00:32:16.300
So if the child is engaged with doing a puzzle
707
00:32:16.300 --> 00:32:19.870
for example, can that child stay with that task
708
00:32:19.870 --> 00:32:22.440
for a couple of minutes and work through it
709
00:32:22.440 --> 00:32:24.770
without being distracted, without thinking
710
00:32:24.770 --> 00:32:26.670
they wanna try something else, without talking
711
00:32:26.670 --> 00:32:29.230
to five different people in the interim.
712
00:32:29.230 --> 00:32:32.270
So this is really a key indicator.
713
00:32:32.270 --> 00:32:34.980
If they're drawing a house, can they finish the house
714
00:32:34.980 --> 00:32:37.970
and be proud of what they did before they get up
715
00:32:37.970 --> 00:32:38.803
and walk away?
716
00:32:39.800 --> 00:32:42.720
I would also say that demonstrating empathy
717
00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:46.990
and sensitivity toward others is another key indicator.
718
00:32:46.990 --> 00:32:50.700
To get along in a social environment means that you need
719
00:32:50.700 --> 00:32:54.820
to notice other people and not just what color
720
00:32:54.820 --> 00:32:58.140
they have on but what about their facial expression?
721
00:32:58.140 --> 00:32:59.460
What about their body language?
722
00:32:59.460 --> 00:33:01.460
All these things children are learning about
723
00:33:01.460 --> 00:33:02.380
when they're young.
724
00:33:02.380 --> 00:33:05.420
So in order for a child to understand
725
00:33:05.420 --> 00:33:07.870
how they can play cooperatively and get along
726
00:33:07.870 --> 00:33:10.180
in a group, they need to have empathy.
727
00:33:10.180 --> 00:33:12.300
So if they're running around on a playground
728
00:33:12.300 --> 00:33:15.540
and their friend falls down and suddenly crying,
729
00:33:15.540 --> 00:33:18.560
does the other child just run off on their own
730
00:33:18.560 --> 00:33:21.800
or does that child stop, take the time,
731
00:33:21.800 --> 00:33:24.620
notice that somebody else is in distress
732
00:33:24.620 --> 00:33:27.062
and then try to offer some comfort?
733
00:33:27.062 --> 00:33:30.130
And this is a big difference between many three
734
00:33:30.130 --> 00:33:32.152
and four-year-olds and five-year-olds.
735
00:33:32.152 --> 00:33:34.640
Even we as adults need to learn that.
736
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:36.263 line:15%
That's right, that's right.
737
00:33:37.160 --> 00:33:40.637 line:15%
I would also say that in order to succeed in kindergarten,
738
00:33:40.637 --> 00:33:44.440 line:15%
the child needs to be comfortable with compliance.
739
00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:46.217 line:15%
There are gonna be rules.
740
00:33:46.217 --> 00:33:47.830
There are going to be expectations and many
741
00:33:47.830 --> 00:33:51.300
of those are well established and children are trained
742
00:33:51.300 --> 00:33:52.150
on what they are.
743
00:33:52.150 --> 00:33:54.840
But a child needs to comply with those rules
744
00:33:54.840 --> 00:33:56.750
without constant reminders.
745
00:33:56.750 --> 00:33:58.550
So that means that the child understands
746
00:33:58.550 --> 00:34:01.280
when we come in the house, we take off our shoes
747
00:34:01.280 --> 00:34:02.470
and we put them on a rug.
748
00:34:02.470 --> 00:34:04.850
And we take off our coats and we hang them up.
749
00:34:04.850 --> 00:34:07.100
And when they come in the house every time
750
00:34:07.100 --> 00:34:09.580
the parents shouldn't have to say don't forget
751
00:34:09.580 --> 00:34:11.800
to take off your shoes and hang up your coat.
752
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:14.770
We want the child to have a level of independence there
753
00:34:14.770 --> 00:34:16.900
and to understand that that's one of the rules
754
00:34:16.900 --> 00:34:17.920
they have to follow.
755
00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:20.750
So along with that is that the child can follow
756
00:34:20.750 --> 00:34:24.250
two-step directions willingly, not with coercion.
757
00:34:24.250 --> 00:34:26.940
But follow two-step directions.
758
00:34:26.940 --> 00:34:29.070
So when you're finished with your lunch,
759
00:34:29.070 --> 00:34:33.010
you should take your plate over to the sink
760
00:34:33.010 --> 00:34:35.333
and throw away the used napkin.
761
00:34:36.270 --> 00:34:38.680
And they should be able to remember those two steps
762
00:34:38.680 --> 00:34:40.440
and follow through and do them.
763
00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:45.060
And then finally for the list of key indicators,
764
00:34:45.060 --> 00:34:48.650
I would say is the child eager to learn?
765
00:34:48.650 --> 00:34:51.870
Is the child motivated to go out into the world
766
00:34:51.870 --> 00:34:54.250
and explore more and to learn more?
767
00:34:54.250 --> 00:34:57.030
Because that's a key to their success.
768
00:34:57.030 --> 00:34:59.650
The child that's able to take a few risks,
769
00:34:59.650 --> 00:35:02.770
that's a little bit adventurous, now that's an indicator
770
00:35:02.770 --> 00:35:05.410
of a child who's ready for formal schooling.
771
00:35:05.410 --> 00:35:08.620
And in addition, we need to remember that
772
00:35:08.620 --> 00:35:12.290
in order for any young person, in order for any person
773
00:35:12.290 --> 00:35:15.740
really to be successful, they need to be healthy.
774
00:35:15.740 --> 00:35:17.288
They need to get enough sleep.
775
00:35:17.288 --> 00:35:19.600
They need to be well nourished.
776
00:35:19.600 --> 00:35:23.300
In order to perform, we all need to have basic
777
00:35:23.300 --> 00:35:25.400
equipment in place and we need to take care
778
00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:27.350
of that equipment so that when we step out
779
00:35:27.350 --> 00:35:29.290
into the world, we can do our best.
780
00:35:29.290 --> 00:35:31.480
Right, and it's important as you think about
781
00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:35.470
these little kids adjusting to going to kindergarten,
782
00:35:35.470 --> 00:35:38.160
at school, away from parents all day long
783
00:35:38.160 --> 00:35:41.410
and we need to take into consideration all
784
00:35:41.410 --> 00:35:42.243
of those health needs.
785
00:35:42.243 --> 00:35:44.300
Will they need a little bit extra sleep?
786
00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:46.670
Are they eating snacks that are gonna sustain them?
787
00:35:46.670 --> 00:35:48.710
You gotta start thinking ahead through all
788
00:35:48.710 --> 00:35:49.950
of that as well.
789
00:35:49.950 --> 00:35:51.960
I love that you said that and because you've got
790
00:35:51.960 --> 00:35:53.670
children, you understand that.
791
00:35:53.670 --> 00:35:55.951
We forget how tiring it is for a little one
792
00:35:55.951 --> 00:35:59.530
after they're interacting with people all day
793
00:35:59.530 --> 00:36:00.730
in this environment.
794
00:36:00.730 --> 00:36:02.070
They really are tired.
795
00:36:02.070 --> 00:36:03.190
They're probably exhausted.
796
00:36:03.190 --> 00:36:06.510
And so be sure to check the sleep guidelines for children
797
00:36:06.510 --> 00:36:08.880
because those are really, really important.
798
00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:11.550
And also their circadian rhythms are important.
799
00:36:11.550 --> 00:36:15.090
So most children, they need to be in bed,
800
00:36:15.090 --> 00:36:17.610
children at this age, four and five years old,
801
00:36:17.610 --> 00:36:19.290
they can't be up to nine o'clock
802
00:36:19.290 --> 00:36:21.439
because that's off they rhythmic cycle.
803
00:36:21.439 --> 00:36:23.530
Lots of parents forget that.
804
00:36:23.530 --> 00:36:25.580
So we need to make sure they get enough sleep,
805
00:36:25.580 --> 00:36:28.020
but the sleep needs to be at the right points
806
00:36:28.020 --> 00:36:29.792
in time for them as well.
807
00:36:29.792 --> 00:36:34.680
So we wanna emphasize always that responsive adults
808
00:36:35.800 --> 00:36:37.987
would be responsive to those children
809
00:36:37.987 --> 00:36:39.780
and understand what their needs are
810
00:36:39.780 --> 00:36:42.860
and to take care of making sure that they're healthy
811
00:36:42.860 --> 00:36:44.610
and ready for kindergarten.
812
00:36:44.610 --> 00:36:46.520
Yes, that's great advice.
813
00:36:46.520 --> 00:36:49.420
So Dr. King just shared with us seven indicators
814
00:36:49.420 --> 00:36:52.680
to know if your child is ready for kindergarten or not.
815
00:36:52.680 --> 00:36:54.870
And you'll see on your screen pop up
816
00:36:54.870 --> 00:36:56.510
these list of seven indicators.
817
00:36:56.510 --> 00:36:58.710
So take a few moments right now
818
00:36:58.710 --> 00:37:01.180
to assess where you think your child is
819
00:37:01.180 --> 00:37:04.000
at this point in time and then perhaps
820
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:07.550
in a month or two, come back and take this assessment
821
00:37:07.550 --> 00:37:09.700
one more time to see how much farther
822
00:37:09.700 --> 00:37:11.890
your child has advanced in these.
823
00:37:11.890 --> 00:37:14.780
So knowing that state-by-state requirements
824
00:37:14.780 --> 00:37:18.600
for age varies, what would be the benefits
825
00:37:18.600 --> 00:37:21.710
on making sure that you start your child on time
826
00:37:21.710 --> 00:37:24.250
versus possibly delaying their start
827
00:37:24.250 --> 00:37:26.360
if you feel that they're not ready.
828
00:37:26.360 --> 00:37:29.010
Great question, and I know this is something
829
00:37:29.010 --> 00:37:32.360
that many parents struggle with, trying to figure out
830
00:37:32.360 --> 00:37:36.350
when is the best year for my child to start,
831
00:37:36.350 --> 00:37:38.030
especially when they have birthdays
832
00:37:38.030 --> 00:37:39.811
at a certain point in time.
833
00:37:39.811 --> 00:37:43.170
And I might add that parents should be sure
834
00:37:43.170 --> 00:37:48.170
they understand the exact day, month and year required
835
00:37:49.210 --> 00:37:53.873
in your state, because they do vary 50 times over.
836
00:37:53.873 --> 00:37:57.026
So some states, the requirement is September 30th
837
00:37:57.026 --> 00:37:59.010
in the year your child is five.
838
00:37:59.010 --> 00:38:00.960
Sometimes it's November 30th.
839
00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:03.030
Sometimes it's in July.
840
00:38:03.030 --> 00:38:05.160
So make sure you know what the rules are.
841
00:38:05.160 --> 00:38:07.310
But it's a great question.
842
00:38:07.310 --> 00:38:11.960
No easy answers really but it does require
843
00:38:11.960 --> 00:38:16.960
that parents consider some basic issues
844
00:38:17.330 --> 00:38:21.430
that we're aware of, if children start on time
845
00:38:21.430 --> 00:38:22.800
versus being delayed.
846
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:27.160
So if your child starts on time that means your child
847
00:38:27.160 --> 00:38:29.220
is entering kindergarten at the age
848
00:38:29.220 --> 00:38:31.210
that's required by the state with most
849
00:38:31.210 --> 00:38:34.690
of their peers, that is, it's more likely
850
00:38:34.690 --> 00:38:38.450
that your child will then progress along the physical
851
00:38:38.450 --> 00:38:42.480
development continuum with most of the peers.
852
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:45.730
It's unlikely then in first grade, one of those children
853
00:38:45.730 --> 00:38:48.930
will be eight inches taller than another child.
854
00:38:48.930 --> 00:38:51.450
There might be a couple inches of difference
855
00:38:51.450 --> 00:38:53.160
and of course they're gonna have different body shapes
856
00:38:53.160 --> 00:38:54.160
and all of that.
857
00:38:54.160 --> 00:38:57.930
But as they move across time from K through grade five,
858
00:38:57.930 --> 00:39:00.750
your child is pretty much gonna be in sync
859
00:39:00.750 --> 00:39:05.030
for the most part physically with their peers.
860
00:39:05.030 --> 00:39:09.090
And so physical maturation is going to occur
861
00:39:09.090 --> 00:39:14.090
as certain growth stages in a similar way.
862
00:39:14.420 --> 00:39:15.450
And so that's a good thing.
863
00:39:15.450 --> 00:39:18.043
Your child's not gonna feel like they don't fit in.
864
00:39:19.090 --> 00:39:22.608
So children who don't appear to be fully ready
865
00:39:22.608 --> 00:39:25.840
in terms of perhaps their academic skills
866
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:28.439
or some of the other benchmarks we talked about,
867
00:39:28.439 --> 00:39:33.439
they may be able to catch up really quickly.
868
00:39:33.940 --> 00:39:37.020
So perhaps they're not ready when school starts
869
00:39:37.020 --> 00:39:38.920
in August or September.
870
00:39:38.920 --> 00:39:40.200
But guess what?
871
00:39:40.200 --> 00:39:43.350
By October or November, a lot of those children
872
00:39:43.350 --> 00:39:46.210
have moved farther along and they might be able
873
00:39:46.210 --> 00:39:49.640
to manage a lot of the skills that were not evident
874
00:39:49.640 --> 00:39:51.030
a couple months earlier.
875
00:39:51.030 --> 00:39:54.430
So by starting the child on time, you're putting them
876
00:39:54.430 --> 00:39:56.340
in a stimulating environment.
877
00:39:56.340 --> 00:39:58.860
You're giving them the kinds of learning experiences
878
00:39:58.860 --> 00:40:00.590
that are commensurate with their peers
879
00:40:00.590 --> 00:40:02.930
and you're giving them lots of support
880
00:40:02.930 --> 00:40:05.970
probably in that environment for continuing to grow.
881
00:40:05.970 --> 00:40:08.290
So there can be an advantage knowing that children
882
00:40:08.290 --> 00:40:09.163
can catch up.
883
00:40:10.210 --> 00:40:13.280
Some studies, I would add, indicate
884
00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:17.860
that children who wait, who don't enter on time
885
00:40:17.860 --> 00:40:21.223
but wait until they're the next year older,
886
00:40:22.210 --> 00:40:26.690
as they become adolescents and they're
887
00:40:26.690 --> 00:40:29.110
in a different place than the rest
888
00:40:29.110 --> 00:40:32.300
of the children that they're in the same grade with,
889
00:40:32.300 --> 00:40:34.320
those children seem to be, some of them,
890
00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:36.527
at risk for greater behavior problems.
891
00:40:36.527 --> 00:40:40.500
Now this might be happening because as children move along
892
00:40:40.500 --> 00:40:43.503
from grade K, one, two, three, four five,
893
00:40:43.503 --> 00:40:47.390
they're going to be going to some emotional changes
894
00:40:47.390 --> 00:40:50.010
along with the physical maturation
895
00:40:50.010 --> 00:40:53.230
and that child who's a little older is gonna reach some
896
00:40:53.230 --> 00:40:56.400
of those plateaus in advance of some of his peers.
897
00:40:56.400 --> 00:40:59.410
And so by the time they get to middle school
898
00:40:59.410 --> 00:41:02.670
and adolescent years, that child might feel
899
00:41:02.670 --> 00:41:05.770
slightly out of sync because he's gotten to this,
900
00:41:05.770 --> 00:41:10.290
he or she has gotten to a place before the other kids.
901
00:41:10.290 --> 00:41:14.590
And so that can lead to some dissonance for the child
902
00:41:14.590 --> 00:41:16.410
and they might have some behavior problems.
903
00:41:16.410 --> 00:41:19.270
That's not true for everybody but research does show
904
00:41:19.270 --> 00:41:20.720
that happens for some.
905
00:41:20.720 --> 00:41:23.110
And middle school is hard enough for kids
906
00:41:23.110 --> 00:41:24.910
in terms of adjustment and feeling
907
00:41:24.910 --> 00:41:26.210
like they don't fit in.
908
00:41:26.210 --> 00:41:28.630
So to add that into the mix is definitely something
909
00:41:28.630 --> 00:41:30.300
parents need to consider.
910
00:41:30.300 --> 00:41:32.450 line:15%
Yeah, it's not just kindergarten here.
911
00:41:32.450 --> 00:41:35.040 line:15%
When you make a decision about your child's
912
00:41:35.040 --> 00:41:37.540 line:15%
kindergarten readiness, remember what you're really
913
00:41:37.540 --> 00:41:41.460 line:15%
talking about is school readiness, formal school readiness.
914
00:41:41.460 --> 00:41:46.460
And so so that age bracket that they're placed with
915
00:41:46.730 --> 00:41:48.587
is where they will be for the most part
916
00:41:48.587 --> 00:41:50.620
for many years.
917
00:41:50.620 --> 00:41:52.820
Yes. (laughing)
918
00:41:52.820 --> 00:41:55.820
In terms of delaying kindergarten, parents
919
00:41:55.820 --> 00:41:57.810
that are not sure or feel like the child
920
00:41:57.810 --> 00:42:00.143
really can't manage what's expected,
921
00:42:01.090 --> 00:42:02.040
what about that?
922
00:42:02.040 --> 00:42:05.100
What happens to the child that has a delayed start,
923
00:42:05.100 --> 00:42:06.310
doesn't start on time?
924
00:42:06.310 --> 00:42:09.070
Of course that child has a little extra time
925
00:42:09.070 --> 00:42:10.970
to work with.
926
00:42:10.970 --> 00:42:13.480
So they can strengthen those skills.
927
00:42:13.480 --> 00:42:16.630
If they're having difficulty with early literacy
928
00:42:16.630 --> 00:42:19.810
they can certainly build all of those kinds
929
00:42:19.810 --> 00:42:24.270
of print convention skills and early reading skills.
930
00:42:24.270 --> 00:42:26.590
And the parents can help with that
931
00:42:26.590 --> 00:42:27.980
in that kind of environment.
932
00:42:27.980 --> 00:42:31.550
They can also expand their SEL repertoire.
933
00:42:31.550 --> 00:42:34.290
Remember that's the social emotional realm.
934
00:42:34.290 --> 00:42:36.570
So for the shy child or the child
935
00:42:36.570 --> 00:42:39.040
that's having trouble being with others
936
00:42:39.040 --> 00:42:41.079
in a group, not really comfortable,
937
00:42:41.079 --> 00:42:44.630
it can give them more of a chance to build
938
00:42:44.630 --> 00:42:48.440
some self confidence with encouragement from an adult.
939
00:42:48.440 --> 00:42:50.750
And as long as they're getting positive feedback
940
00:42:50.750 --> 00:42:55.010
with the foray into small groups bit by bit by bit,
941
00:42:55.010 --> 00:42:56.470
then that might be helpful for them
942
00:42:56.470 --> 00:42:59.100
to have a little more time to be comfortable
943
00:42:59.100 --> 00:43:01.820
in their own skin and to feel that they can relate
944
00:43:01.820 --> 00:43:02.682
to others.
945
00:43:02.682 --> 00:43:07.540
The slightly older child might also have a more refined
946
00:43:07.540 --> 00:43:10.030
set of self regulatory skills.
947
00:43:10.030 --> 00:43:13.270
Remember that we talked about that, that self regulation
948
00:43:13.270 --> 00:43:17.580
is one of the understated components
949
00:43:17.580 --> 00:43:19.020
that's really very, very important.
950
00:43:19.020 --> 00:43:21.720
And so that child is likely to be able
951
00:43:21.720 --> 00:43:24.060
to pay attention longer, probably persist
952
00:43:24.060 --> 00:43:26.620
with tasks longer and probably controls
953
00:43:26.620 --> 00:43:29.380
their impulses better when they're 12 years
954
00:43:29.380 --> 00:43:31.210
beyond where they are at the point
955
00:43:31.210 --> 00:43:34.278
when they might be able to go to kindergarten.
956
00:43:34.278 --> 00:43:36.880
So that could be the key to a child's success.
957
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:40.990
So going back to the comment about every child being
958
00:43:40.990 --> 00:43:44.190
different and no two children being alike,
959
00:43:44.190 --> 00:43:46.630
parents have to really examine, observe
960
00:43:46.630 --> 00:43:49.670
and examine and think about what's gonna work best
961
00:43:49.670 --> 00:43:52.740
for each individual child in terms of readiness
962
00:43:52.740 --> 00:43:54.550
for formal schooling.
963
00:43:54.550 --> 00:43:56.830
Two of my three were fall birthdays.
964
00:43:56.830 --> 00:43:59.220
So we definitely, in preparation for kindergarten,
965
00:43:59.220 --> 00:44:01.480
had to consider where are they at
966
00:44:01.480 --> 00:44:03.160
and who are they as individuals
967
00:44:03.160 --> 00:44:06.240
and how would they fit in to the readiness for kindergarten
968
00:44:06.240 --> 00:44:07.670
and do we think they would thrive
969
00:44:07.670 --> 00:44:09.860
or should we hold back.
970
00:44:09.860 --> 00:44:11.170
And what did you decide?
971
00:44:11.170 --> 00:44:14.700
So for the oldest, went ahead, put her in
972
00:44:14.700 --> 00:44:17.600
so that she would have been the youngest
973
00:44:17.600 --> 00:44:18.970
in the grade.
974
00:44:18.970 --> 00:44:22.330
And then for my son, we went went ahead,
975
00:44:22.330 --> 00:44:24.400
we opted for both of them to put him in.
976
00:44:24.400 --> 00:44:26.420
So we have a situation where one's a younger
977
00:44:26.420 --> 00:44:27.800
and one's an older.
978
00:44:27.800 --> 00:44:28.900
And they both thrived.
979
00:44:28.900 --> 00:44:29.750
They both did well.
980
00:44:29.750 --> 00:44:33.480
So the things that we were probably concerned about
981
00:44:33.480 --> 00:44:36.530
didn't really end up playing out because as you mentioned,
982
00:44:36.530 --> 00:44:40.190
once they're put in that environment and that scenario,
983
00:44:40.190 --> 00:44:41.100
they do thrive.
984
00:44:41.100 --> 00:44:42.370
They do feed off of others.
985
00:44:42.370 --> 00:44:46.680
And they adjust and they catch up or they fit it.
986
00:44:46.680 --> 00:44:48.500
Thanks for sharing that example.
987
00:44:48.500 --> 00:44:52.144
It does illustrate really well how children can adapt
988
00:44:52.144 --> 00:44:54.070
to what's required of them.
989
00:44:54.070 --> 00:44:55.820
So I'm glad they're having success.
990
00:44:57.210 --> 00:45:00.470
So as parents, how can we actually help
991
00:45:00.470 --> 00:45:02.273
prepare our kids for kindergarten?
992
00:45:03.140 --> 00:45:05.270
Let's talk about some practical suggestions
993
00:45:05.270 --> 00:45:09.670
for everyday life, some things that can happen easily
994
00:45:09.670 --> 00:45:11.870
in your everyday environment.
995
00:45:11.870 --> 00:45:14.510
First of all I would say verbal interaction.
996
00:45:14.510 --> 00:45:16.200
Talk with your child, talk with your child,
997
00:45:16.200 --> 00:45:17.120
talk with your child.
998
00:45:17.120 --> 00:45:19.530
And along with talking, be sure that you listen
999
00:45:19.530 --> 00:45:21.810
to your child and encourage your child
1000
00:45:21.810 --> 00:45:25.120
to respond to verbal prompts and to questions.
1001
00:45:25.120 --> 00:45:27.140
So it shouldn't be a one-way.
1002
00:45:27.140 --> 00:45:28.690
They need to understand the give and take
1003
00:45:28.690 --> 00:45:29.860
of conversation.
1004
00:45:29.860 --> 00:45:33.330
But it's surprising how much they gain
1005
00:45:33.330 --> 00:45:35.230
from simply talking.
1006
00:45:35.230 --> 00:45:39.360
And I would encourage all parents to make sure
1007
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:41.330
that they have shared meal time and that
1008
00:45:41.330 --> 00:45:44.000
at shared meal time there are no devices,
1009
00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:46.180
that we are here together as a family
1010
00:45:46.180 --> 00:45:47.570
and that we're talking.
1011
00:45:47.570 --> 00:45:49.710
And we care about each other and we're listening
1012
00:45:49.710 --> 00:45:50.700
to each other.
1013
00:45:50.700 --> 00:45:54.430
And there's so much to be gained from that kind
1014
00:45:54.430 --> 00:45:55.960
of an experience.
1015
00:45:55.960 --> 00:45:58.620
In thinking of terms of those conversations,
1016
00:45:58.620 --> 00:46:01.340
would you encourage parents to actually speak
1017
00:46:01.340 --> 00:46:02.880
as we're speaking right now?
1018
00:46:02.880 --> 00:46:04.940
I know sometimes we tend to get down
1019
00:46:04.940 --> 00:46:07.490
and try to be cute and speak more to their level.
1020
00:46:07.490 --> 00:46:10.240
But is it beneficial just to treat them almost
1021
00:46:10.240 --> 00:46:12.380
as if you're conversing with an adult?
1022
00:46:12.380 --> 00:46:13.970
I think that every parent should do
1023
00:46:13.970 --> 00:46:15.860
what's comfortable for them.
1024
00:46:15.860 --> 00:46:18.570
So it might not be the answer you were expecting
1025
00:46:18.570 --> 00:46:21.040
but I think first and foremost we have
1026
00:46:21.040 --> 00:46:24.440
to be ourselves and we have to feel good about who we are.
1027
00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:27.650
So if that has been your way of talking
1028
00:46:27.650 --> 00:46:31.070
to your child, sort of in a normal adult way,
1029
00:46:31.070 --> 00:46:33.440
then your child is accustom to it.
1030
00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:36.690
So if in fact you're the kind of parent
1031
00:46:36.690 --> 00:46:39.330
that likes to sort of bring things down a little bit,
1032
00:46:39.330 --> 00:46:43.140
maybe even whimsically, that's okay too.
1033
00:46:43.140 --> 00:46:45.400
Your child is going to adjust to that.
1034
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:47.770
What you want to be sure that you do however,
1035
00:46:47.770 --> 00:46:50.720
is use real language and make sure
1036
00:46:50.720 --> 00:46:52.740
that the language that you're speaking,
1037
00:46:52.740 --> 00:46:57.740
which is English, is pronounced appropriately
1038
00:46:58.210 --> 00:47:00.830
and that the children are getting some rich vocabulary.
1039
00:47:00.830 --> 00:47:04.930
So we always talk about stretching children's minds
1040
00:47:04.930 --> 00:47:09.220
and that means that your cues for your child
1041
00:47:09.220 --> 00:47:11.450
should always make it possible for them
1042
00:47:11.450 --> 00:47:13.010
to go a step ahead.
1043
00:47:13.010 --> 00:47:15.670
So you wanna be a little bit in advance of them
1044
00:47:15.670 --> 00:47:17.830
and so you wanna push your child.
1045
00:47:17.830 --> 00:47:20.340
So think about that as where they are plus one.
1046
00:47:20.340 --> 00:47:23.330
And all the time giving them more to go for.
1047
00:47:23.330 --> 00:47:27.950
So it's more about how much are you in tune
1048
00:47:27.950 --> 00:47:31.410
with where your child is more than anything else.
1049
00:47:31.410 --> 00:47:33.520
So there are plenty of five-year-olds
1050
00:47:33.520 --> 00:47:37.130
that have an astronomical vocabulary for various reasons.
1051
00:47:37.130 --> 00:47:40.450
And so those children need to have dialogue
1052
00:47:40.450 --> 00:47:42.630
that's probably much richer than a child
1053
00:47:42.630 --> 00:47:44.800
who hasn't benefited from that kind
1054
00:47:44.800 --> 00:47:45.993
of vocabulary growth.
1055
00:47:47.069 --> 00:47:52.069
Secondly I would say be sure that you enjoy books
1056
00:47:52.290 --> 00:47:57.290
and make reading time part of every single day.
1057
00:47:58.390 --> 00:48:01.720
So not only should you read with your child,
1058
00:48:01.720 --> 00:48:04.230
select high-quality children's books
1059
00:48:04.230 --> 00:48:07.750
with great art as well as good stories
1060
00:48:07.750 --> 00:48:11.650
and language, but make sure that you also have books
1061
00:48:11.650 --> 00:48:15.080
in a space where your child can go
1062
00:48:15.080 --> 00:48:18.120
and experience books on their own.
1063
00:48:18.120 --> 00:48:19.890
You want them to self select.
1064
00:48:19.890 --> 00:48:21.640
You want it to be possible for the child
1065
00:48:21.640 --> 00:48:24.760
to have a quiet space and that they would want
1066
00:48:24.760 --> 00:48:26.890
to actually open that book and explore it.
1067
00:48:26.890 --> 00:48:29.614
So it doesn't always have to be, I wanna watch TV,
1068
00:48:29.614 --> 00:48:31.630
I wanna use the tablet.
1069
00:48:31.630 --> 00:48:34.020
It should be, I'm really excited about books.
1070
00:48:34.020 --> 00:48:38.660
So help your child with that by giving them lots
1071
00:48:38.660 --> 00:48:41.510
of experiences with other members of the family.
1072
00:48:41.510 --> 00:48:43.050
And it shouldn't be just with parents.
1073
00:48:43.050 --> 00:48:45.950
If the child has siblings, that shared reading time
1074
00:48:45.950 --> 00:48:47.400
is a beautiful thing.
1075
00:48:47.400 --> 00:48:51.970
So we mentioned that rich experiences, so I would
1076
00:48:51.970 --> 00:48:54.590
again emphasize here how important it is
1077
00:48:54.590 --> 00:48:57.291
for you and your child to get outside,
1078
00:48:57.291 --> 00:49:00.300
to observe the world and to try to go
1079
00:49:00.300 --> 00:49:01.720
to new places.
1080
00:49:01.720 --> 00:49:04.650
Maybe you go to the library on a regular basis
1081
00:49:04.650 --> 00:49:08.850
but maybe the farm is something kind of foreign to you
1082
00:49:08.850 --> 00:49:10.940
rather than a city or a more urban area.
1083
00:49:10.940 --> 00:49:12.740
So it would be worth taking a drive
1084
00:49:12.740 --> 00:49:15.160
and making sure that your child has a chance
1085
00:49:15.160 --> 00:49:19.690
to smell cows and hear the sheep
1086
00:49:19.690 --> 00:49:21.940
or whatever it is.
1087
00:49:21.940 --> 00:49:25.049
These are rich experiences for them and they'll benefit
1088
00:49:25.049 --> 00:49:29.380
from having a variety of those kinds of trips.
1089
00:49:29.380 --> 00:49:33.250
Walking around with your child is certainly something
1090
00:49:33.250 --> 00:49:35.800
that we forget about.
1091
00:49:35.800 --> 00:49:38.230
Take a walk in your neighborhood and actually
1092
00:49:38.230 --> 00:49:40.290
go slowly enough that you notice things
1093
00:49:40.290 --> 00:49:41.730
you haven't seen before yourself.
1094
00:49:41.730 --> 00:49:44.354
The smells, the touch, all of those.
1095
00:49:44.354 --> 00:49:47.130 line:15%
We sometimes forget that the everyday stuff
1096
00:49:47.130 --> 00:49:49.620 line:15%
that's around us, the rocks and pine cones
1097
00:49:49.620 --> 00:49:51.170 line:15%
in the grass and the leaves in the trees
1098
00:49:51.170 --> 00:49:53.350 line:15%
are really stimulating for a young child.
1099
00:49:53.350 --> 00:49:56.010 line:15%
So we can go on collecting walks and bring those back
1100
00:49:56.010 --> 00:49:59.060
and then look at things under a magnifying glass
1101
00:49:59.060 --> 00:50:01.450
and have lots of fun with that.
1102
00:50:01.450 --> 00:50:03.590
Don't forget about problem solving.
1103
00:50:03.590 --> 00:50:06.240
We wanna make sure that children understand
1104
00:50:06.240 --> 00:50:09.299
that experiencing problems and encountering challenges
1105
00:50:09.299 --> 00:50:11.330
is a daily occurrence.
1106
00:50:11.330 --> 00:50:14.370
And we also want them to understand how
1107
00:50:14.370 --> 00:50:17.140
to approach that and not shy away from it,
1108
00:50:17.140 --> 00:50:18.440
that they're capable.
1109
00:50:18.440 --> 00:50:19.640
They need to understand that.
1110
00:50:19.640 --> 00:50:22.270
They need to learn that I have the capacity
1111
00:50:22.270 --> 00:50:24.323
to figure out how to solve that problem.
1112
00:50:24.323 --> 00:50:28.020
So if that piece of the puzzle isn't fitting in,
1113
00:50:28.020 --> 00:50:31.394
you know the child is struggling and doesn't understand
1114
00:50:31.394 --> 00:50:34.250
how to get that truck in that space,
1115
00:50:34.250 --> 00:50:37.650
then a good thing for the parent to do is not
1116
00:50:37.650 --> 00:50:40.090
to put it in for them but to make a suggestion
1117
00:50:40.090 --> 00:50:43.580
and say, well it looks like maybe if you turn that piece
1118
00:50:43.580 --> 00:50:47.020
the other way it might fit in.
1119
00:50:47.020 --> 00:50:51.980
And help them move along that capacity
1120
00:50:51.980 --> 00:50:53.650
to do something for themselves.
1121
00:50:53.650 --> 00:50:56.720
But we don't want to avoid problems.
1122
00:50:56.720 --> 00:50:59.530
Kids need to learn how to overcome those.
1123
00:50:59.530 --> 00:51:02.220
Encouraging creativity and curiosity.
1124
00:51:02.220 --> 00:51:05.990
So I like to tell silly stories with my grandchildren.
1125
00:51:05.990 --> 00:51:07.773
And sometimes what we do is we take a story
1126
00:51:07.773 --> 00:51:10.419
that we know and then we just add some
1127
00:51:10.419 --> 00:51:13.540
unreal stuff to it and we change the story line
1128
00:51:13.540 --> 00:51:15.550
or the plot so that it's not really what it was.
1129
00:51:15.550 --> 00:51:18.213
And they always laugh and then next time
1130
00:51:18.213 --> 00:51:19.779
we're about to read they go, can you do the
1131
00:51:19.779 --> 00:51:21.625
crazy reading again?
1132
00:51:21.625 --> 00:51:23.990
But take time to laugh with your child
1133
00:51:23.990 --> 00:51:27.080
and make sure that they feel it's okay
1134
00:51:27.080 --> 00:51:29.420
to use your imagination and be creative.
1135
00:51:29.420 --> 00:51:32.450
This is another book that's great for kids
1136
00:51:32.450 --> 00:51:34.890
because what happens in this book is they give
1137
00:51:34.890 --> 00:51:38.240
a scenario that might be quite common.
1138
00:51:38.240 --> 00:51:40.450
You have to go to the doctor and have a shot
1139
00:51:40.450 --> 00:51:42.350
so you might be worried about that
1140
00:51:42.350 --> 00:51:43.820
and the child might tend to cry.
1141
00:51:43.820 --> 00:51:46.420
And it's all about pretending that it's some
1142
00:51:46.420 --> 00:51:47.320
other situation.
1143
00:51:47.320 --> 00:51:50.410
So pretend you're a robot and you don't feel it.
1144
00:51:50.410 --> 00:51:53.320
You don't feel the shot in your skin.
1145
00:51:53.320 --> 00:51:54.990
You gotta pick up your clothes and put 'em
1146
00:51:54.990 --> 00:51:56.050
in the laundry basket.
1147
00:51:56.050 --> 00:51:58.380
Well pretend you're feeding a friendly dolphin.
1148
00:51:58.380 --> 00:52:01.460
So be sure to give your child those kinds
1149
00:52:01.460 --> 00:52:04.220
of inventive thinking experiences
1150
00:52:04.220 --> 00:52:06.810
so that they kind of go beyond what is
1151
00:52:06.810 --> 00:52:08.610
and start thinking in a bigger way.
1152
00:52:08.610 --> 00:52:10.130
Because in the the real world
1153
00:52:10.130 --> 00:52:11.920
and especially in the professional world,
1154
00:52:11.920 --> 00:52:15.990
one of the skills and assets that's most highly valued
1155
00:52:15.990 --> 00:52:17.250
is creativity.
1156
00:52:17.250 --> 00:52:19.543
So it starts young and kids are naturally
1157
00:52:19.543 --> 00:52:21.250
pretty creative on their own.
1158
00:52:21.250 --> 00:52:24.130
Right, something we like to do is start a story,
1159
00:52:24.130 --> 00:52:27.153
just verbally speaking a story, and let the kids go
1160
00:52:27.153 --> 00:52:29.540
and it just kind of evolves as they go
1161
00:52:29.540 --> 00:52:30.990
and they're all adding different pieces
1162
00:52:30.990 --> 00:52:32.933
until we come up with an ending.
1163
00:52:33.800 --> 00:52:36.102
Great fun and it's never the same.
1164
00:52:36.102 --> 00:52:38.770
That's a little story starter and pretty soon
1165
00:52:38.770 --> 00:52:40.000
it goes round and round and round.
1166
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:41.923
So great fun.
1167
00:52:41.923 --> 00:52:45.270
And so that leads to one of my next points
1168
00:52:45.270 --> 00:52:47.390
is also playing games together.
1169
00:52:47.390 --> 00:52:51.910
Give your child a chance to experience taking those roles
1170
00:52:51.910 --> 00:52:53.490
when you're playing a game.
1171
00:52:53.490 --> 00:52:56.470
Hide and seek certainly is one that shouldn't be missed
1172
00:52:56.470 --> 00:52:58.600
and that starts early with peek-a-boo.
1173
00:52:58.600 --> 00:53:00.700
You know, little children learn about that
1174
00:53:01.680 --> 00:53:03.590
as they're learning about object permanence.
1175
00:53:03.590 --> 00:53:07.460
And learning to take turns and understanding
1176
00:53:07.460 --> 00:53:09.280
that you don't always get to win.
1177
00:53:09.280 --> 00:53:10.920
Maybe somebody else wins.
1178
00:53:10.920 --> 00:53:12.270
But losing is okay.
1179
00:53:12.270 --> 00:53:14.900
Maybe you learn something in the process.
1180
00:53:14.900 --> 00:53:18.230
Simon Says is a great game for all kids
1181
00:53:18.230 --> 00:53:20.760
and it's learning to listen and following
1182
00:53:20.760 --> 00:53:22.280
those directions.
1183
00:53:22.280 --> 00:53:24.170
There's no better game than Candyland I guess
1184
00:53:24.170 --> 00:53:26.490
'cause it's still around after about 100 years
1185
00:53:26.490 --> 00:53:29.550
and also Go Fish is another one of those games
1186
00:53:29.550 --> 00:53:31.835
that they can play early on and match things
1187
00:53:31.835 --> 00:53:33.060
and find pairs.
1188
00:53:33.060 --> 00:53:35.920
So playing games is really important.
1189
00:53:35.920 --> 00:53:40.440
And then lastly I would say that you wanna be sure
1190
00:53:40.440 --> 00:53:43.940
not to forget that your child should be given
1191
00:53:43.940 --> 00:53:46.460
opportunities to make choices.
1192
00:53:46.460 --> 00:53:50.470
So instead of pouring the milk into the cup
1193
00:53:50.470 --> 00:53:52.460
and putting it in front of the child,
1194
00:53:52.460 --> 00:53:55.370
say would you like your milk in the yellow cup today
1195
00:53:55.370 --> 00:53:57.940
or would you like your milk in the green cup?
1196
00:53:57.940 --> 00:54:00.240
And that might seem like a simple thing
1197
00:54:00.240 --> 00:54:03.230
but what you're doing is you're empowering the child
1198
00:54:03.230 --> 00:54:06.425
and the child begins to understand that oh,
1199
00:54:06.425 --> 00:54:09.310
I can make that call.
1200
00:54:09.310 --> 00:54:11.100
I can decide for myself.
1201
00:54:11.100 --> 00:54:12.670
Well certainly they can't decide all the time
1202
00:54:12.670 --> 00:54:16.430
about all things but there are some obvious situations
1203
00:54:16.430 --> 00:54:19.780
when it's okay to let them have that opportunity.
1204
00:54:19.780 --> 00:54:24.580
And so that helps them grow and also helps them learn
1205
00:54:24.580 --> 00:54:28.110
what risks are all about in trying out things,
1206
00:54:28.110 --> 00:54:30.670
but also that I'm the decision maker.
1207
00:54:30.670 --> 00:54:34.483
It can be me too, not just my parents.
1208
00:54:35.780 --> 00:54:39.750
Okay, so Dr.King, what type of specific products
1209
00:54:39.750 --> 00:54:42.330
might be helpful for a preschooler
1210
00:54:42.330 --> 00:54:44.470
to get ready for kindergarten?
1211
00:54:44.470 --> 00:54:46.420
Thanks for asking because so many people
1212
00:54:46.420 --> 00:54:48.720
wanna be sure that they provide the right stuff
1213
00:54:48.720 --> 00:54:50.590
for their young children.
1214
00:54:50.590 --> 00:54:53.750
So I would say that exemplary materials,
1215
00:54:53.750 --> 00:54:58.360
first of all they need to have some open ended experiences.
1216
00:54:58.360 --> 00:55:00.860
We talked about the importance of that already.
1217
00:55:00.860 --> 00:55:05.110
Blocks and Play Dough, Lego blocks, wooden blocks,
1218
00:55:05.110 --> 00:55:07.530
stacking cups, all those things that allow
1219
00:55:07.530 --> 00:55:08.810
for multiplicity.
1220
00:55:08.810 --> 00:55:11.150
It means they can use them in different ways
1221
00:55:11.150 --> 00:55:12.960
and each time the child would come back
1222
00:55:12.960 --> 00:55:16.440
and encounter those particular kinds of toys,
1223
00:55:16.440 --> 00:55:17.620
it's different.
1224
00:55:17.620 --> 00:55:20.500
They're starting again and they can do, make new
1225
00:55:20.500 --> 00:55:21.810
all over again.
1226
00:55:21.810 --> 00:55:23.430
So that's important.
1227
00:55:23.430 --> 00:55:27.160
You wanna be sure that your young child has opportunities
1228
00:55:27.160 --> 00:55:29.740
for what I would call socio-dramatic play.
1229
00:55:29.740 --> 00:55:33.111
So this is the old flannel board stuff
1230
00:55:33.111 --> 00:55:34.868
from years ago.
1231
00:55:34.868 --> 00:55:37.220
There are still paper dolls and now we have
1232
00:55:37.220 --> 00:55:38.480
magnetic dolls.
1233
00:55:38.480 --> 00:55:42.810
But these things allow children to reenact stories
1234
00:55:42.810 --> 00:55:45.040
or to make up new stories.
1235
00:55:45.040 --> 00:55:46.210
There are characters.
1236
00:55:46.210 --> 00:55:48.330
There are kinds of settings.
1237
00:55:48.330 --> 00:55:49.980
There are things that they can do.
1238
00:55:49.980 --> 00:55:51.100
But then the child is gonna use language
1239
00:55:51.100 --> 00:55:53.690
and they're gonna act out things
1240
00:55:53.690 --> 00:55:55.820
and they're gonna pretend.
1241
00:55:55.820 --> 00:55:58.260
And all that's really, really important.
1242
00:55:58.260 --> 00:56:01.858
They're gonna take parts and they're going to become
1243
00:56:01.858 --> 00:56:05.290
part of what the action is with these characters.
1244
00:56:05.290 --> 00:56:07.470
And that's really important for their growth.
1245
00:56:07.470 --> 00:56:11.300
I would also say that making sure your child
1246
00:56:11.300 --> 00:56:13.530
has access to kitchen tools and things
1247
00:56:13.530 --> 00:56:15.460
that we use in a kitchen.
1248
00:56:15.460 --> 00:56:17.100
It can be a child-sized kitchen
1249
00:56:17.100 --> 00:56:19.616
but there's plenty of stuff in the real kitchen too.
1250
00:56:19.616 --> 00:56:22.420
I like to have my grandkids up on a step stool
1251
00:56:22.420 --> 00:56:23.860
so they can be at counter height
1252
00:56:23.860 --> 00:56:25.790
and use wooden spoons and bowls
1253
00:56:25.790 --> 00:56:29.170
and try mixing things, doing real life stuff
1254
00:56:29.170 --> 00:56:31.880
is really important as well.
1255
00:56:31.880 --> 00:56:35.090
We don't wanna forget to have natural items available
1256
00:56:35.090 --> 00:56:39.740
to kids, whether it's shells or twigs from outside.
1257
00:56:39.740 --> 00:56:41.620
We don't think of those as toys but those are
1258
00:56:41.620 --> 00:56:44.970
important components that children wanna explore.
1259
00:56:44.970 --> 00:56:47.770
We also wanna have materials that involve logic.
1260
00:56:47.770 --> 00:56:50.930
So things like the Unifix cubes where they
1261
00:56:50.930 --> 00:56:53.820
can do patterns and then they can make new patterns.
1262
00:56:53.820 --> 00:56:55.900
They can recreate, they can mix and match.
1263
00:56:55.900 --> 00:56:58.380
Again, that's another item that's sort of new
1264
00:56:58.380 --> 00:57:01.060
each time you use it.
1265
00:57:01.060 --> 00:57:02.680
Here's a simple one that we found
1266
00:57:02.680 --> 00:57:06.160
that I just love because it's simply these
1267
00:57:06.160 --> 00:57:09.580
colored blocks lined up and you can just
1268
00:57:09.580 --> 00:57:11.243
keep playing with this, take it in the car,
1269
00:57:11.243 --> 00:57:12.400
your child has it.
1270
00:57:12.400 --> 00:57:14.560
It doesn't take up much space.
1271
00:57:14.560 --> 00:57:17.130
And then you'll be surprised at what they come up with
1272
00:57:17.130 --> 00:57:19.329
and then they'll come and tell you they made a horse.
1273
00:57:19.329 --> 00:57:20.910
Oh great.
1274
00:57:20.910 --> 00:57:23.600
Yes, it's always a challenge when your child
1275
00:57:23.600 --> 00:57:25.340
presents you with something and says guess
1276
00:57:25.340 --> 00:57:26.323
what this is?
1277
00:57:27.800 --> 00:57:30.300
I'm an advocate also for early science.
1278
00:57:30.300 --> 00:57:32.860
So you wanna make sure that if you can get
1279
00:57:32.860 --> 00:57:36.956
an eye dropper for your child, this is accident magic.
1280
00:57:36.956 --> 00:57:40.370
With a little water in bowl, a piece of wax paper,
1281
00:57:40.370 --> 00:57:42.700
just put the water drops out and you'll be surprised
1282
00:57:42.700 --> 00:57:44.150
at how much fun they have with that.
1283
00:57:44.150 --> 00:57:46.820
Magnets, everybody's got 'em on their refrigerator.
1284
00:57:46.820 --> 00:57:49.233
Kinds can experiment all over the house
1285
00:57:49.233 --> 00:57:51.100
with what happens with these magnets
1286
00:57:51.100 --> 00:57:52.710
and what sticks and what doesn't.
1287
00:57:52.710 --> 00:57:56.760
So I always wanna make sure that children have access
1288
00:57:56.760 --> 00:58:00.690
to early science and I just brought this little
1289
00:58:00.690 --> 00:58:03.880
scuba diver guy because something happened
1290
00:58:03.880 --> 00:58:07.430
with my grandkids that I actually didn't expect.
1291
00:58:07.430 --> 00:58:10.490
We just had a bucket of water and then I got this guy out
1292
00:58:10.490 --> 00:58:14.330
and they played for an half an hour with this figure.
1293
00:58:14.330 --> 00:58:16.120
And they pretended they were fish.
1294
00:58:16.120 --> 00:58:17.270
They got some other stuff.
1295
00:58:17.270 --> 00:58:18.960
They got rocks, they put it in there
1296
00:58:18.960 --> 00:58:20.540
and it was a make believe world.
1297
00:58:20.540 --> 00:58:24.440
So when we think about products for kids,
1298
00:58:24.440 --> 00:58:28.250
we wanna have anything that will stimulate their thinking,
1299
00:58:28.250 --> 00:58:31.170
anything that allows them to imagine things
1300
00:58:31.170 --> 00:58:34.450
and to try out in different ways
1301
00:58:34.450 --> 00:58:35.960
how to use those materials.
1302
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:37.380
And it doesn't have to be fancy.
1303
00:58:37.380 --> 00:58:38.660
That's right, that's right.
1304
00:58:38.660 --> 00:58:40.880 line:15%
And it doesn't have to be a lot.
1305
00:58:40.880 --> 00:58:44.120 line:15%
I think that's another possible mistake
1306
00:58:44.120 --> 00:58:47.220 line:15%
parents might make thinking they need to give their kid
1307
00:58:47.220 --> 00:58:48.320 line:15%
a lot of things.
1308
00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:51.380 line:15%
And oftentimes a lot can be too much.
1309
00:58:51.380 --> 00:58:54.260
One nice trick for parents is to think
1310
00:58:54.260 --> 00:58:57.270
about only bringing out a few things at a time
1311
00:58:57.270 --> 00:58:59.090
and exploring those things together,
1312
00:58:59.090 --> 00:59:02.940
and then take out a new set of things a couple weeks later
1313
00:59:02.940 --> 00:59:05.648
and that's one way for your child to sort of get
1314
00:59:05.648 --> 00:59:08.810
enthusiastic about something that's new.
1315
00:59:08.810 --> 00:59:11.360
So we would be remiss not to talk
1316
00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:13.280
about the digital world today.
1317
00:59:13.280 --> 00:59:17.090
So I want to add that there are plenty
1318
00:59:17.090 --> 00:59:20.830
of digital experiences that might be appropriate
1319
00:59:20.830 --> 00:59:22.170
for young children.
1320
00:59:22.170 --> 00:59:25.410
And what's important here is the parent needs
1321
00:59:25.410 --> 00:59:29.110
to be carefully involved with previewing
1322
00:59:29.110 --> 00:59:33.140
and understanding what those products might be.
1323
00:59:33.140 --> 00:59:35.930
So one example is the product that we built
1324
00:59:35.930 --> 00:59:37.978
at K12 called Embark.
1325
00:59:37.978 --> 00:59:42.020
And we spent along time working carefully through
1326
00:59:42.020 --> 00:59:44.270
what's developmentally appropriate
1327
00:59:44.270 --> 00:59:47.490
for young children and making sure that the digital
1328
00:59:47.490 --> 00:59:50.750
experiences that they have in the online world
1329
00:59:50.750 --> 00:59:52.410
are right sized.
1330
00:59:52.410 --> 00:59:55.380
And so one of the great things about that product
1331
00:59:55.380 --> 00:59:58.987
is that it's language rich and there's interaction.
1332
00:59:58.987 --> 01:00:01.970
The child has lots of opportunity to hear language
1333
01:00:01.970 --> 01:00:05.830
but also there's interactive engagement there.
1334
01:00:05.830 --> 01:00:08.490
So they're asked questions and they're supposed
1335
01:00:08.490 --> 01:00:09.970
to respond to these prompts.
1336
01:00:09.970 --> 01:00:14.970
And so we wanna be sure that whatever products we choose,
1337
01:00:15.310 --> 01:00:19.330
especially in the digital world, that as adults
1338
01:00:19.330 --> 01:00:22.200
we're careful, we screen them, we make sure
1339
01:00:22.200 --> 01:00:24.472
that they cover the right kinds of material
1340
01:00:24.472 --> 01:00:29.472
and by far be sure that your child is not spending
1341
01:00:30.090 --> 01:00:33.740
too much time sitting in front of any digital device
1342
01:00:33.740 --> 01:00:36.660
because we know from the American Academy
1343
01:00:36.660 --> 01:00:39.560
of Pediatrics that there are particular increments
1344
01:00:39.560 --> 01:00:42.010
of time that are appropriate for certain ages
1345
01:00:42.010 --> 01:00:45.830
and for a young child, 15 minutes is a good stretch
1346
01:00:45.830 --> 01:00:48.862
of time to be using a digital device.
1347
01:00:48.862 --> 01:00:52.190
So we wanna also be thinking about,
1348
01:00:52.190 --> 01:00:54.960
if it's a five-year-old child, what those products
1349
01:00:54.960 --> 01:00:58.100
will do to help prepare the child for kindergarten.
1350
01:00:58.100 --> 01:01:01.610
So for example with Embark, one of the things
1351
01:01:01.610 --> 01:01:05.600
that we did, was we mapped all the learning objectives
1352
01:01:05.600 --> 01:01:08.420
in Embark and in creating all the materials,
1353
01:01:08.420 --> 01:01:11.370
we made sure that they matched well
1354
01:01:11.370 --> 01:01:13.780
with national standards for preschool
1355
01:01:13.780 --> 01:01:16.270
and for kindergarten and made sure
1356
01:01:16.270 --> 01:01:18.670
that we were covering all those domains
1357
01:01:18.670 --> 01:01:22.370
including SEL for young children's development
1358
01:01:22.370 --> 01:01:25.370
to be encouraged.
1359
01:01:25.370 --> 01:01:30.370
So I hope that's helpful in terms of what parents can do
1360
01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:32.380
and what products they can look for
1361
01:01:32.380 --> 01:01:35.900
for being sure that their child has the right kinds
1362
01:01:35.900 --> 01:01:37.400
of experiences.
1363
01:01:37.400 --> 01:01:40.400
You're the most important person as the parent
1364
01:01:40.400 --> 01:01:43.160
and as family members, you are the people
1365
01:01:43.160 --> 01:01:45.730
who are making a difference for your child, lifelong,
1366
01:01:45.730 --> 01:01:48.410
and one of the great things you're doing today is
1367
01:01:48.410 --> 01:01:51.850
just attending this webinar to learn something more
1368
01:01:51.850 --> 01:01:54.070
about how to help your child at home.
1369
01:01:54.070 --> 01:01:58.440
So I hope it's been useful and that everyone goes away
1370
01:01:58.440 --> 01:02:01.570
feeling that they can understand their child better.
1371
01:02:01.570 --> 01:02:03.640
So now that we've heard this great information
1372
01:02:03.640 --> 01:02:06.000
from Dr. King, we wanna open it up to you all
1373
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:08.860
to ask some questions during our Q and A time.
1374
01:02:08.860 --> 01:02:10.870
You'll find in the lower left hand corner
1375
01:02:10.870 --> 01:02:13.000
where you can submit your questions to us
1376
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:16.980
and we'll do our best to respond with Dr. King's answers.
1377
01:02:16.980 --> 01:02:20.940
And in the meantime, you'll see a poll pop up
1378
01:02:20.940 --> 01:02:22.970
and we want you to provide your feedback
1379
01:02:22.970 --> 01:02:24.220
on how you liked this webinar.
1380
01:02:24.220 --> 01:02:26.240
And were we helpful to you?
1381
01:02:26.240 --> 01:02:29.200
Did you get everything that you were expecting from this?
1382
01:02:29.200 --> 01:02:30.720
We want your feedback.
1383
01:02:30.720 --> 01:02:33.050
So in the meantime we'll move on.
1384
01:02:33.050 --> 01:02:36.700
I think that we've had a question pop up.
1385
01:02:36.700 --> 01:02:40.417
So Dr. King, this person is asking, let's see,
1386
01:02:40.417 --> 01:02:43.877
"My daughter who is almost four years old is shy
1387
01:02:43.877 --> 01:02:46.927
"around other people including her peers.
1388
01:02:46.927 --> 01:02:49.287
"She is reluctant to try anything new
1389
01:02:49.287 --> 01:02:52.847
"and tends to cling to me whenever we go anywhere.
1390
01:02:52.847 --> 01:02:54.057
"What can I do?
1391
01:02:54.057 --> 01:02:55.847
"Should I have her tested to find out
1392
01:02:55.847 --> 01:02:58.500
"what's going wrong with her development?"
1393
01:02:58.500 --> 01:03:02.960
So great question, and I'm sure that several people
1394
01:03:02.960 --> 01:03:05.620
may have that same question.
1395
01:03:05.620 --> 01:03:09.790
We have to respect that every one of us is different
1396
01:03:09.790 --> 01:03:13.260
and on a scale of introversion and extroversion
1397
01:03:13.260 --> 01:03:14.910
we're gonna be in different places.
1398
01:03:14.910 --> 01:03:18.630
So some children are naturally going to be
1399
01:03:18.630 --> 01:03:21.770
less comfortable being more assertive
1400
01:03:21.770 --> 01:03:23.060
or being outgoing.
1401
01:03:23.060 --> 01:03:26.810
And so what those children need to build a lot of
1402
01:03:26.810 --> 01:03:29.720
is more self confidence so that they can feel
1403
01:03:29.720 --> 01:03:34.230
more secure and safe about who they are
1404
01:03:34.230 --> 01:03:37.130
and then from there begin to expand outward
1405
01:03:37.130 --> 01:03:40.650
to be comfortable with interacting with others.
1406
01:03:40.650 --> 01:03:44.800
So I think baby steps for children like that
1407
01:03:44.800 --> 01:03:47.590
because if you force too much on a young child
1408
01:03:47.590 --> 01:03:49.759
all at once, it's going to backfire
1409
01:03:49.759 --> 01:03:52.690
and if they're exposed to way beyond
1410
01:03:52.690 --> 01:03:55.100
what they can handle, then that can draw them
1411
01:03:55.100 --> 01:03:56.290
within further.
1412
01:03:56.290 --> 01:04:00.570
So I think in the case of this young girl
1413
01:04:00.570 --> 01:04:03.190
that it's important that she has at least one
1414
01:04:03.190 --> 01:04:06.630
close friend and that with that one close friend,
1415
01:04:06.630 --> 01:04:10.300
rather than being alone, you can help them experience
1416
01:04:10.300 --> 01:04:11.210
different things.
1417
01:04:11.210 --> 01:04:14.610
And children respond well to their peers
1418
01:04:14.610 --> 01:04:16.960
and there's great comfort knowing that I have a friend
1419
01:04:16.960 --> 01:04:19.370
or a buddy along with me who's like me.
1420
01:04:19.370 --> 01:04:22.440
And so I think bit by bit, if that one friend
1421
01:04:22.440 --> 01:04:24.330
can help the child feel more comfortable,
1422
01:04:24.330 --> 01:04:26.020
maybe even two friends.
1423
01:04:26.020 --> 01:04:28.410
But the other part of what's important
1424
01:04:28.410 --> 01:04:33.010
for this parent is for the parent to step aside
1425
01:04:33.010 --> 01:04:36.300
a little bit and make sure the child does have time
1426
01:04:36.300 --> 01:04:39.680
away from that parent because the clingy child,
1427
01:04:39.680 --> 01:04:41.480
the child who's not feeling secure
1428
01:04:41.480 --> 01:04:43.990
wants mommy or daddy there all the time
1429
01:04:43.990 --> 01:04:46.690
is never gonna go beyond that if mommy and daddy
1430
01:04:46.690 --> 01:04:48.430
are there all the time.
1431
01:04:48.430 --> 01:04:51.410
So what you want to do is build comfort
1432
01:04:51.410 --> 01:04:55.410
in that child inside so that they know
1433
01:04:55.410 --> 01:04:58.110
if you go away for a short period of time,
1434
01:04:58.110 --> 01:04:59.400
you will come back.
1435
01:04:59.400 --> 01:05:02.110
And so letting that child know before you go away,
1436
01:05:02.110 --> 01:05:03.820
and certainly not going for three hours,
1437
01:05:03.820 --> 01:05:06.170
but little bits of time and making sure
1438
01:05:06.170 --> 01:05:09.290
that that child understands you are back,
1439
01:05:09.290 --> 01:05:10.730
expand that a little bit.
1440
01:05:10.730 --> 01:05:13.960
So I think we have to always meet every child
1441
01:05:13.960 --> 01:05:15.150
where they are.
1442
01:05:15.150 --> 01:05:17.240
So the child who is shy, is shy.
1443
01:05:17.240 --> 01:05:18.470
They can't help it.
1444
01:05:18.470 --> 01:05:21.340
And so we wanna help them feel good about that.
1445
01:05:21.340 --> 01:05:24.720
And that child may always be a little bit more introverted
1446
01:05:24.720 --> 01:05:26.680
but that child might become a great writer
1447
01:05:26.680 --> 01:05:30.430
or something else in life that doesn't require extroversion.
1448
01:05:30.430 --> 01:05:34.350
So it's a great question and I think as parents
1449
01:05:34.350 --> 01:05:38.060
we need to be respectful of the personalities
1450
01:05:38.060 --> 01:05:41.060
that our children have and help them grow themselves.
1451
01:05:41.060 --> 01:05:42.470
Right, all right.
1452
01:05:42.470 --> 01:05:44.237
We have another one that's come in.
1453
01:05:44.237 --> 01:05:47.417
"My five-year-old son has a vivid imagination
1454
01:05:47.417 --> 01:05:50.467
"and he frequently plays with make believe friends.
1455
01:05:50.467 --> 01:05:53.437
"He carries on extended conversations with them
1456
01:05:53.437 --> 01:05:55.617
"and seems to get emotionally involved
1457
01:05:55.617 --> 01:05:57.097
"with those scenarios.
1458
01:05:57.097 --> 01:05:59.127
"Should we be worried about this kind of playtime
1459
01:05:59.127 --> 01:06:01.340
"that's not based on reality?"
1460
01:06:01.340 --> 01:06:03.580
Another great question and thank you
1461
01:06:03.580 --> 01:06:04.730
for asking that question.
1462
01:06:04.730 --> 01:06:06.929
I would say congratulations to that boy
1463
01:06:06.929 --> 01:06:08.840
(laughing)
1464
01:06:08.840 --> 01:06:10.450
for doing everything that he's doing
1465
01:06:10.450 --> 01:06:13.500
because he's actually growing himself.
1466
01:06:13.500 --> 01:06:17.810
That child probably has a lot going on inside
1467
01:06:17.810 --> 01:06:21.070
and he's just expressing what he's thinking.
1468
01:06:21.070 --> 01:06:24.300
It's actually very healthy, as we mentioned earlier
1469
01:06:24.300 --> 01:06:26.640
in this webinar, for young children to have
1470
01:06:26.640 --> 01:06:28.950
that kind of imaginary play.
1471
01:06:28.950 --> 01:06:31.320
Imaginary friends actually give them a way
1472
01:06:31.320 --> 01:06:32.790
to practice language.
1473
01:06:32.790 --> 01:06:35.160
So whether or not that's a real thing
1474
01:06:35.160 --> 01:06:38.230
doesn't really matter because to the child it is real.
1475
01:06:38.230 --> 01:06:43.050
To that child who is pretending that pretend being
1476
01:06:43.050 --> 01:06:44.960
is someone that they're engaging with
1477
01:06:44.960 --> 01:06:46.620
and we don't wanna take that away from them
1478
01:06:46.620 --> 01:06:48.270
because they might have a lot of fun.
1479
01:06:48.270 --> 01:06:51.190
So some people might be worried that eventually
1480
01:06:51.190 --> 01:06:52.260
that could cause problems.
1481
01:06:52.260 --> 01:06:56.120
But as explained here, what that young boy is doing
1482
01:06:56.120 --> 01:06:59.500
is actually just experiencing what we hope
1483
01:06:59.500 --> 01:07:02.200
other children will also experience
1484
01:07:02.200 --> 01:07:05.330
and that is to use their imagination
1485
01:07:05.330 --> 01:07:09.687
and to create something in the world that gives them
1486
01:07:09.687 --> 01:07:13.260
an opportunity to engage with someone else.
1487
01:07:13.260 --> 01:07:16.667
So have fun with that child.
1488
01:07:16.667 --> 01:07:18.240
And don't worry.
1489
01:07:18.240 --> 01:07:20.020
In fact you might wanna invite that child
1490
01:07:20.020 --> 01:07:23.420
to make a play or a performance.
1491
01:07:23.420 --> 01:07:25.967
Who knows, there could be an entertainment future
1492
01:07:25.967 --> 01:07:27.140
for that child.
1493
01:07:27.140 --> 01:07:29.170
But kids love doing that kind of thing
1494
01:07:29.170 --> 01:07:31.890
and so it's something to celebrate.
1495
01:07:31.890 --> 01:07:34.980
Okay, and I think we have time maybe for one more
1496
01:07:34.980 --> 01:07:36.007
that we have.
1497
01:07:36.007 --> 01:07:38.757
"My four-year-old son enjoys playing games
1498
01:07:38.757 --> 01:07:41.487
"on my smartphone and I think he's learning
1499
01:07:41.487 --> 01:07:42.977
"from these experiences.
1500
01:07:42.977 --> 01:07:45.017
"Should I let him do this independently
1501
01:07:45.017 --> 01:07:46.997
"for a couple hours every day?"
1502
01:07:48.140 --> 01:07:50.870
Definitely a question that has probably occurred
1503
01:07:50.870 --> 01:07:52.630
to many of you in the audience.
1504
01:07:52.630 --> 01:07:56.830
We can avoid this situation.
1505
01:07:56.830 --> 01:08:01.830
Children are as interested in technology as adults are,
1506
01:08:01.870 --> 01:08:04.710
maybe even more so because they see all of us using
1507
01:08:04.710 --> 01:08:06.330
these devices all the time.
1508
01:08:06.330 --> 01:08:09.060
So in some ways it seems unfair for us
1509
01:08:09.060 --> 01:08:10.800
to be using these things and then we say,
1510
01:08:10.800 --> 01:08:12.100
no, you can't touch it.
1511
01:08:12.100 --> 01:08:15.240
So I would say that we wanna be honest and real
1512
01:08:15.240 --> 01:08:17.470
with children and let them understand
1513
01:08:17.470 --> 01:08:21.090
what this tool is but also be sure that we are
1514
01:08:21.090 --> 01:08:24.400
very careful with how much time the child spends
1515
01:08:24.400 --> 01:08:26.390
with any device and what they do.
1516
01:08:26.390 --> 01:08:29.170
So in the case of a four-year-old or a five-year-old
1517
01:08:29.170 --> 01:08:31.870
using a smartphone, definitely not two hours.
1518
01:08:31.870 --> 01:08:34.860
You know there's research that shows this kind
1519
01:08:34.860 --> 01:08:37.830
of engagement with digital devices is addictive.
1520
01:08:37.830 --> 01:08:41.530
And so a child that begins to engage like that,
1521
01:08:41.530 --> 01:08:43.460
become so absorbed and wrapped up in that,
1522
01:08:43.460 --> 01:08:45.410
they forget about the world around them
1523
01:08:45.410 --> 01:08:48.830
and there's a compelling case for them to keep going
1524
01:08:48.830 --> 01:08:49.870
and try in what they're doing.
1525
01:08:49.870 --> 01:08:51.960
But what they're missing out on when they do this,
1526
01:08:51.960 --> 01:08:54.630
is there's no real engagement with people.
1527
01:08:54.630 --> 01:08:55.830
There's no conversation.
1528
01:08:55.830 --> 01:08:57.800
They're working alone.
1529
01:08:57.800 --> 01:09:00.640
There's not anything that can help the child
1530
01:09:00.640 --> 01:09:04.020
learn how to navigate the social experiences.
1531
01:09:04.020 --> 01:09:06.670
So we wanna be careful how much time.
1532
01:09:06.670 --> 01:09:09.550
I would suggest that if you are going
1533
01:09:09.550 --> 01:09:13.210
to allow your child to use a device like a smartphone,
1534
01:09:13.210 --> 01:09:14.640
a tablet is much better.
1535
01:09:14.640 --> 01:09:18.210
But if it is going to be a smartphone that you are clear
1536
01:09:18.210 --> 01:09:21.570
with your child that you must be near them
1537
01:09:21.570 --> 01:09:24.880
and that you will be sure that they are doing
1538
01:09:24.880 --> 01:09:26.444
what you have approved.
1539
01:09:26.444 --> 01:09:29.020
And you want to talk with your child
1540
01:09:29.020 --> 01:09:30.190
as they're doing what they're doing
1541
01:09:30.190 --> 01:09:32.710
because you wanna understand what is it they're learning,
1542
01:09:32.710 --> 01:09:33.970
what are they experiencing.
1543
01:09:33.970 --> 01:09:38.380
So a very valid question and something that many families
1544
01:09:38.380 --> 01:09:40.880
are wrestling with today is what do I do
1545
01:09:40.880 --> 01:09:43.670
with how much time my child wants to spend
1546
01:09:43.670 --> 01:09:44.560
with these devices.
1547
01:09:44.560 --> 01:09:48.030
It's a big ongoing battle and it won't go away.
1548
01:09:48.030 --> 01:09:49.840
I think it's with us for the duration
1549
01:09:49.840 --> 01:09:53.390
of the child until our children grow up
1550
01:09:53.390 --> 01:09:56.300
and still a continuing battle probably after that.
1551
01:09:56.300 --> 01:09:58.870
But I think we have to use good common sense
1552
01:09:58.870 --> 01:10:01.290
and understand that it is a tool.
1553
01:10:01.290 --> 01:10:04.700
It can be a learning tool but it must be used carefully
1554
01:10:04.700 --> 01:10:08.660
and judicially and as parents it's your job
1555
01:10:08.660 --> 01:10:13.620
to be the watchman over whatever's happening
1556
01:10:13.620 --> 01:10:14.970
with these devices.
1557
01:10:14.970 --> 01:10:16.410
Right, well great.
1558
01:10:16.410 --> 01:10:18.570
I appreciate you answering these questions
1559
01:10:18.570 --> 01:10:21.350
and for coming today and sharing with us
1560
01:10:21.350 --> 01:10:24.200
all of your wisdom and helping us to equip us parents
1561
01:10:24.200 --> 01:10:27.770
for getting our child ready for kindergarten.
1562
01:10:27.770 --> 01:10:30.170
And I wanna thank you all for coming
1563
01:10:30.170 --> 01:10:32.810
and attending today and for taking the time
1564
01:10:32.810 --> 01:10:35.130
to listen and to interact with us.
1565
01:10:35.130 --> 01:10:37.460
And if you like what you've learned today,
1566
01:10:37.460 --> 01:10:39.170
please share it with your friends.
1567
01:10:39.170 --> 01:10:41.200
They might be wondering some of the same questions.
1568
01:10:41.200 --> 01:10:44.920
So definitely share it out and if you have any
1569
01:10:44.920 --> 01:10:46.640
further interest, please feel free
1570
01:10:46.640 --> 01:10:49.010
to always reach out to us or you could refer
1571
01:10:49.010 --> 01:10:51.940
to the resources on the right hand side of your screen
1572
01:10:51.940 --> 01:10:53.270
for more information.
1573
01:10:53.270 --> 01:10:55.820
And I just wanna thank you again for participating.